


Invictus

by Introvertia



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Use, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Oral Sex, Underage Drinking, pinch o fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 15:58:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15489450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introvertia/pseuds/Introvertia
Summary: Steve falls hard and fast for Billy, and won't give up.





	Invictus

**Author's Note:**

> Invictus: Inspired by the poem of the same name by William Ernest Henley. I’m a terrible proofreader and editor, so apologies in advance. POV changes often, I tried to put in breaks but it may be a bit convoluted. I swear I’m working on becoming a better writer. There's a random uncredited Emily Dickinson quote and it made me laugh because it was so extra so if you spot it I hope you're tickled by it too. Please enjoy and thanks in advance for reading.

 

  
  
  


The forecaster on the radio had promised snow, but it just seemed like the sky was frozen and the only thing in the air was Steve’s breath. He was sitting in his car letting the engine run. Students were walking across the small parking lot to their cars and to the bus, it was the first day after winter-break and everyone seemed a little too excited to be back at school for Steve’s taste. The closer he got to graduation the less sure he felt about his future. He’d felt more able to map a future when that had been with Nancy, he felt grown up when he was dating her. Like he’d finally made a good choice. Apparently not, he thought.

Across the parking lot Tommy and Carol were walking arm in arm, their heads tipped down towards one another. They’d been together for so long, it was hard for Steve to imagine them being apart, he felt a twist of jealousy and frowned faintly as he sank in his car seat. He wasn’t in a rush to get anywhere, but it felt like everyone else was. Everywhere he looked there were couples, on the bus, sitting in the library, eating in restaurants, shopping, just everywhere he looked.  It was as though everyone had someone to be with, someone who cared, someone who was waiting just for them, everyone except him. 

 

Steve was startled when he heard the passenger door open and Billy Hargrove sat in the seat and shut the door.

“Hey, Harrington.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Relax, man. Just listen.”

Steve glared at Billy waiting to hear what he had to say. Billy shifted in the seat leaning forward, with every micro movement Steve felt himself coiling, not shrinking, not truly, just getting ready, for whatever was about to happen.

“Things got out of hand. You shouldn’t have lied to me about Max. You lied to me in front of all her little asshole friends, you shouldn’t have done that... I mean, you threw the first punch.” Billy was speaking in a matter of fact tone that made Steve want to punch him in the throat.

“Did you forget the part where knocked me down and kicked me?!”

“I had to make a point.” Billy shrugged.

“And what, exactly was that?” Steve could feel himself starting to seeth. 

“The  _ point _ was that no one lies to me, Harrington, you lied to my face about having a thirteen year old little girl at some house I didn’t even know existed till I went to the Wheeler’s house looking for Max.”

“You weren’t there for her.”

“You’re right about that, I was there because my father sent me to collect her, she’s part of our little happy family, and that means I’ve got to keep her safe. I just never imagine I’d have to keep her safe from you.” 

Steve scoffed and turned looking at Billy, not believing what he was hearing. 

“You actually imagine I would lay a finger on Max, that’s twisted. You know she was there to be with her friends, not me.”

“You’re just a small town rich-boy, Harrington,”

“Mm, no, nope, this isn’t about me,” Steve shook his head, “You threatened Lucas, he’s a kid, you weren’t after me, you went straight for him, and why, because of Max, Lucas would never hurt her.”

“You don’t know everything.”

“Then enlighten me, and if you’re telling me you went after him to protect Max, you’re full of shit.”

“You want to be real? Okay, cool, let’s be real, my old man will kill  _ me _ ,” Billy pointed at his own chest to emphasize the point, and then the sky, “ and lock  _ her _ in a goddamned tower if he sees her with him, that’s just a fact, and I’ve gotta keep the fucking peace.”

“By what? Following in his racist footsteps?”

“I’m not like him!” Billy snapped, “I don’t know why I thought I could talk to you.” Billy opened the passenger door and got out of the car, he slammed it shut and stalked towards his Camaro. Steve got out and got in Billy’s path, he wanted to finish this, whatever this was. 

“Oh, you’re outta your car, that’s a surprise. I would have finished you if Max hadn’t rescued you, you know that.” Billy moved into Steve’s space, he breath fogging the air around Steve’s face, his eyes narrowed, his gaze icy. 

“Maybe so, but there’s no dishes here,” Steve threw his arms out gesturing at the empty air around the parking lot, “so there goes your advantage.” 

“Ooh, clever. I don’t want to kick your ass again, Harrington, that’s not what I came here to do.”

“Then what? What’s so important that you got in my car, do you have something,” Steve made air quotes, “ _ real _ to say or not?”

“It went too far.” 

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, that’s it, you want some fucking flowers too?”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Good, because you’re getting nothing.” Billy spun on his heel, his shoulders high and tight and walked away.

“Asshole.” Steve muttered under his breath. 

 

When Steve got home he was surprised to find his parents there. It was rare for them both to be home that early in the day. He’d been planning to go straight up to his room and throw on some music and not think before heading over to Byer’s place, but now he was being beset upon by his mother.

“Steve, I’m so glad you’re home, I’m making pot roast. You love pot roast.”

“Great, that sounds good.” Steve stood at the base of the staircase, he shrugged out of his jacket watching her approach, he knew there was more to this than pot roast, so he waited.

“Your father’s having Mr Creeley and his wife over from work, so you better change for dinner, and there’s another couple coming too, and they’re bringing their kids, I think one of them is your age, it’ll be fun, um, I forget their names,”

“Yeah, okay.” Steve wanted to go jump in the pool and sink to the bottom, drowning or dying of hypothermia was preferable to this torture.

“They’re new in town, I think. Not as high up on the totem pole, but, well there you have it. Guests are coming.” She smiled faintly and ran a hand over her perfectly coiffed brown hair, her nails were freshly manicured, Steve could always tell when his father wanted to impress his boss and coworkers, everything had to be just so, beautiful wife, dutiful son.

“Okay, mom.” If Steve rolled his eyes any harder they’d get stuck. He jogged up the stairs wishing he’d gone straight to Jonathan’s instead of coming home.

“I got you a new shirt and some slacks, they’re hanging on your door.” Mrs Harrington called after him. 

“Uhhh.” Steve groaned grabbing the hangers off the doorknob and slammed the door shut behind him. This was the last thing he needed tonight. He tossed his backpack on his desk and threw himself on his bed. He replayed the exchange he and Billy had in the car. It was absurd, if that was meant to be an apology if was a fucking joke. Steve sat up and went into the hallway, he grabbed the phone off the hall table and walked back into his room and shut the door, careful not to catch the cord.

 

“Hello?” Joyce Byers sounded like a kid when she answered the phone, it always threw Steve off when he called.

“Hey Mrs Byers, it’s Steve Harrington.”

“Hey Steve, you know you don’t have to tell me your first and last name when you call,” Her tone was light, he could hear the television on in the background, “Let me get Jonathan on the line for you. Hold on a sec.” 

He heard the phone get set down and could hear her calling Jonathan’s name.  Steve looked at the new dress shirt, it was a weird shade of periwinkle, the slacks were okay looking, a slate grey color, but they looked a little small. Steve frowned holding them up, the legs were long enough.

“Hey?” Jonathan sounded tired.

“Hey Jon, listen, I can’t come by tonight. My dad is having people over from work, so you know, I gotta be here,  I don’t know what the big deal is.”

“He’s gotta show off his nuclear family, you know it’s like that song, ‘we’re a happy family, me mom and dad,’ well not exactly like that song,”  Jonathan coughed a little.

“Are you stoned?” Steve didn’t need to ask.

“Are you jealous?”

“Yeah, I am.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’ll tell Nancy you called. Does it feel weird?”

“Does what feel weird?”

“Hanging out with us.”

“Nah. You guys… you guys are my friends. It’s not weird,” Steve shifted on his bed, feeling very weird  “eh, so let’s just get together next Monday, what with school starting after the holidays, there’s going to be, just a lot this week, you know.”

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll see you at school.”

“Yeah. See you.”

“Hey, hold up, did I see Billy Hargrove get out of your car, damn, I almost forgot about that.”

“Yep.”

“What the hell did he want?”

“I don’t know, I guess he wanted to talk about the fight.”

“No kidding.”

“Yeah. It was…,” Steve could picture Billy sitting in his car, his arrogance was off the charts, and he was dressed like it was spring in the dead of winter, his stupid thermal shirt wasn’t enough to keep him warm, Steve’s mind wandered, lingering on the image of Billy looking at him so intensely. 

“Did he apologize?” Jon inquired lazily.

“What? Hargrove, apologize? Not exactly.”

“So what did he say then?”

“He tried to blame me for the fight,”

“Oh geeze,” 

“Because I lied about Max being there,”

“Yeah, that was dumb.”

“What?” Steve pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at it not believing what Jon had just said, he put it back to his ear listening to Jonathan explain himself.

“I mean, I’d freak out if I was looking for my brother and you said he wasn’t there and then I saw him there, through the window. That’s what happened right? That’s what Mike told Will.”

“I mean, yeah,” Steve hesitated, “but you know, he went after Lucas.” Steve hadn’t felt conflicted about the fight until now. 

“I thought Californians were supposed to be less bigoted, I guess not.” Jon drawled.

“Billy blamed his dad for that,”

“Well it wasn’t Billy’s dad that smashed your face.”

“I got in a few hits.”

“I heard.”

“I did.”

“Yeah, I heard he fights dirty.”

Steve fell silent remembering the time him and Jonathan had their fight. It seemed like a lifetime ago now but he could feel his face heating at the thought of it, he’d said some things regretted.

“I gotta get ready for this thing.” Steve looked at the shirt and slacks, he had plenty of time but nothing more to say.

“Yeah, good luck tonight, bye, Steve.” Jonathan sounded pleasantly distracted.

“Bye.” Steve hung up the phone and laid back on his bed.

He didn’t want to think about Hargrove, or Byers, or anyone but now they were both buzzing in and out of his thoughts. The more people talked the less it seemed like anyone saw things the same way. Steve sighed heavily. He decided he’d get dressed later, he had plenty of time. He didn’t mean to fall asleep, it was as if he’d just hung up the phone one second and the next his mother was knocking on his bedroom door.

 

“Steve, oh my gosh, get dressed mister, the guests are here!” Her voice came out in a little hiss of frustration.

“Okay, just a sec.” Steve rolled out of bed, he’d been dead asleep, he changed as quickly as he could. He didn’t want to have to deal with his dad giving him the death glare over dinner, so he to hustled. The slacks were as he feared a little too tight, but now was not the time to fuss. He grabbed his nice shoes and slipped into them. Thankfully she hadn’t bought him a tie too, sometimes she did that, wanted him to wear a tie for dinner, as if they were the dining with the president or something. Steve jogged down the stairs and paused at the landing, adjusting the crotch of his slacks, definitely too tight. He walked into the living room with his best meet and greet smile and felt a sort of rictus set in as his eyes landed on Billy Hargrove. 

“Nice of you to join us, You remember Mr and Mrs Creeley,” Steve’s dad gestured to them both as if he needed to have them pointed out. Steve stepped forward and shook both their hands.

“Nice to see you both.” Steve said, it was what he’d been taught to say and he was a pro at playing the adult for his parents’ peers.

“This is Mr and Mrs Hargrove, and their son William and their daughter Maxine.”

“How do you do?” Steve nodded at them both shaking their hands. Mr Hargrove was a look you in the eye and squeeze kind of hand shaker, Mrs Hargrove seemed to have removed all the bones from her hand, it was like handling a tepid fish. 

“Billy.” Steve said offering his hand to him. 

“Hey.” Billy’s voice was dispirited but clear, Billy squeezed Steve’s hand and dropped it, Steve was careful not to react.

“Hey-ya, Max,” Steve shook Max’s hand, she looked happy to see Steve, as if she’d been lost at sea and he was the human form of a life raft.

“I was wondering if you kids might know each other.” Steve’s father chortled as if he’d just said something clever.

“Oh of course, Billy and I have Physical Ed. together and Max is friends with Mike Wheeler.” Steve said calmly, he looked at Billy in a white button up shirt, only the collar button was unbuttoned, he wondered if Billy felt like he was being suffocated. Steve glanced at his father who was nodding and smiling taking in nothing he was saying. Mrs Hargrove smiled at him, but she looked a little like a rabbit caught in headlights.

“Well, dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes.” Mrs Harrington announced as she came in the room.

“Why don’t you kids go get comfortable in the den, Steve get them something to drink. Us grownups will have our drinks in the living room, so we don’t cramp your style.” Steve’s dad was talking too loudly, it was something he did after he’d been in the Scotch. Steve could tell it was going to be a long night.

“Sure thing.” Steve nodded, and tilted his head indicating that Max and Billy should follow him. He led them both to the kitchen.

“Max, do you want a Seven-up?” 

“Yeah, thanks. Whoa, this place is huge.” Max looked out the kitchen window taking in the pool, and turned around in the large open kitchen. “Can I swim here in the summer?”

“Sure, I mean, if it’s okay with your folks.” Steve replied. 

“That’d be so cool.” Max grinned, she was wearing a green dress and even had a ribbon in her hair. Steve thought she looked younger than normal but kept his mouth shut.

“Billy, what’ll you have?”

“Whatever you’re having, Harrington.” Billy was hanging back in the door frame, he looked like he wanted to crawl out of his skin.

“Jack and Coke it is.”

“Right.” Billy said casually, as he walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter. Steve glanced over at Billy, his arms folded high on his chest, his chin tilted down, his eyes were on Steve’s crotch but they flicked away as soon as Steve looked at him. Steve blushed, his pants were way too tight and he was thankful that they were a dark shade of grey. He grabbed some ice out of the freezer and kept himself busy, trying not to think about how uncomfortable his slacks were or how weird it was to be in his kitchen with Billy Hargrove.

“Max, your Seven Up, on the rocks, I hope that’s how you like it.”

“Thanks, is there a TV in the den?” 

“Yep, it’s at the end of the hall last door on the left, go ahead.”

“Okay, thanks.” Max grabbed her drink, she glanced at Billy and rolled her eyes as she took off down the hallway.

Steve opened one of the cabinets and grabbed a bottle of whiskey, he decided small talk was a bad idea so he just went about making their drinks.

“Your parents let you drink booze?” Billy asked as he watched Steve pour.

“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” Steve said mildly. He held out Billy’s drink, Billy stepped forward and took the glass.

“Cheers.” Steve clinked his glass to Billy’s. Billy tipped his glass and drained it, Steve did the same.

“Take it easy on the second round, these dinners tend to drag out.” Steve advised as he reclaimed Billy’s glass.

“It must suck.”

“The business dinners? I’m used to it.”

“Huh.” Billy looked around the kitchen, and out the window.

“You want to go out and have a smoke by the pool?” Steve handed Billy his refreshed glass.

“Yeah.” Billy nodded, his eyes on the glass Steve was handing him. 

 

Steve led the way out to the pool, he knew Billy was close behind him, he could almost feel the warmth of him. As soon as the door was open Steve regretted not grabbing a jacket, but he didn’t want to go back inside, so he just walked over to the pool side, looking at the illuminated water. Maybe they just should have gone in the den and watched TV with Max. The sound of Billy’s zippo drew Steve’s attention.

“Are you a good swimmer?” Billy sounded completely disinterested.

“Yeah, pretty good. Do you swim?” Steve watched him out of the corners of his eyes.

“Hell yes.” Billy walked over the pool’s side about a yard away from Steve. It was so cold outside Steve could see faint trails of heat rising off of Billy. Billy was looking at the pool. Steve paced a bit, he didn’t want to run upstairs and get his own cigarettes, nor did he feel right bumming one from Billy.

“You want a drag?” Billy offered his voice low and soft.

Steve looked at the proffered cigarette.

“Thanks.” Steve took the cigarette and drew on it, watching Billy, Billy’s eyes were on Steve’s for a brief moment then they were gone, surveying the backyard, the dark tree line of the wooded area behind Steve’s home. 

All the anger and frustration Steve had felt earlier had transformed into something like fatigue. In another life, they might have been friends, at the very least something more balanced, or normal like simply high school rivals,  but all that had changed, because of the gate, because of the demodogs, and the Upside Down. That’s why Max had snuck out and been out late, she’d been AWOL on Billy’s watch because of monsters, interdimensional monsters that no one could explain, that no one should need to explain. Steve knew that he’d be happier if all he had to worry about was his shitty GPA and not the possibility of more monsters.

“The gate is closed.” Steve had his eyes shut, he hadn’t meant to say it out loud.

“What?”

“Eh, the gate, to the woods, it’s closed, I mean you can hop it, but it’s closed. We keep it closed. Sometimes people wander around back there.” Steve extended his hand giving Billy back his cigarette.

“I heard, sometimes with cameras.” Billy took a drag on his cigarette, a smile playing in the corner of his mouth and then took a long drink from his glass, the cold air and the booze had put color in his cheeks. Steve opted to ignore the comment.

“It’s fucking cold out here.” Steve stated as he turned to go back in. He didn’t expect Billy to follow him but heard him close on his heels. The kitchen felt like an oven as soon as they stepped inside. 

“Better check on Max,” Billy walked around Steve and headed towards the den. He took in the high ceilings, the shining hardwood floors, and framed photos. The place looked like it was out of a catalogue.

“It must be nice.” He grumbled under his breath. He found Max comfortably sprawled on the carpet before a large television, a rerun of the Twilight Zone was on. She glanced over at him.

“Are you being nice?” 

“Shut it.” Billy gave her a warning look, she flipped him off and turned her attention back to the screen..

“I love this episode,” Steve stepped into the room and sat comfortably on the overstuffed floral printed couch.

“I wouldn’t have thought you were at Twilight Zone kind of person.” Max smiled at Steve over her shoulder.

“Sure, what’s not to like?”

Billy looked at Steve, he could tell he was sincere, Steve was naturally a sincere person, it made Billy’s stomach hurt. How were there people like him out in the world? People that were inclined to be kind before anything else. Billy had to admit the Twilight Zone was pretty cool. Although he wasn’t a big fan of this particular episode, he’d seen it a couple times, the guy builds an android girlfriend and has to leave her behind when he’s taken off the planet, something weird like that. It was too sentimental. 

 

Billy sat down on the opposite side of the couch, Steve turned his glass watching the ice slowly loop around. He seemed calm, but Steve had ticks, little tells that Billy could list. Steve would swish the cola around in a coke can, run his hand over his head, sometimes he’d lick his lips before speaking, the occasional knee jogging, little cues of restlessness, or anxiety. Billy could spot them because he was always working on eliminating his own, he didn’t want anyone to read him, his thoughts and feelings were his own. Billy drained his glass and set it on a coaster. He could feel the whiskey in his belly and through his veins, he hadn’t eaten since lunch and it hadn’t been much, he was saving his lunch money for gas and cigarettes. 

 

Steve turned his glass, in his hand, even though Billy was on the other end of the couch he could smell his cologne beneath the clinging scent of cigarettes, he thought about the fight again, how quickly it had happened, yet in memory it slowed down sometimes. 

 

“How about one more round?” Billy’s voice made Steve snap back to the present. 

“Sure.” Steve got up and went into the kitchen, Billy followed him.

 

Max watched them walk out of the room feeling a little nervous. She sat up cross legged on the floor. They were acting weird, but not exactly weird, it wasn’t as if they’d start a fight here, now with all the grown-ups around. She chewed on a fingernail and decided not to follow them into the kitchen. She flicked through the channels wishing she was at home, or hanging out at Lucas’s house. She liked his family, she liked him  _ so _ much.

“Max, do you want another?”

“What?” She looked at her glass, the 7Up was still half full. “No, thanks.” She nodded at Steve, he was so nice, she wondered why Nancy didn’t love him anymore, he was way cooler than Jonathan.

“Okay, just let me know.” Steve nodded at her and went back toward the kitchen.

 

Steve grabbed the ice trays and cracked loose some cubes aware that dinner would be served soon and he didn’t want to get caught pouring whiskey for his father’s business associate’s son. He watched as a generous amount flowed out of the bottle and into the glasses, he wasn’t being smart, but having Billy there was making him feel a little giddy. He divided a can of coke between the two glasses hoping that they scent of booze wouldn’t be noticed by any of the parental types. He could hear his mother heading towards the kitchen, her heels clicking steadily, he grabbed Billy’s arm and led him out by the pool.

 

Billy looked down at Steve’s hand on him and was about to smack it off when he realized they were exiting to avoid getting stuck helping, or something. Steve shut them outside, Billy could see Mrs Harrington buzzing around her kitchen, Susan walked in looking eager to help. Billy made a small hiss of disgust and walked around to the far side of the pool, brushing past Steve and stealing another glance at Steve’s crotch. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen  _ it _ before, but there was something ridiculously hot about his cock bulging in those slim fitting slacks. Billy tipped the glass back and drained it, one just to watch Steve look expression, and two because Steve had told him to take it easy. Billy didn’t need a babysitter, and he was pretty good about acting sober around his dad. Billy watched Steve loop around the pool meeting him on the far side.

“Can I bum a smoke?”

“Yeah.” Billy sniffed, he smiled a little to himself, he should have taken his time with that last glass or maybe just not finished it, but now he was feeling warm and kind of pleasantly buzzed. He shook out two cigarettes and lit them both without thinking much of it. He plucked one of the cigarettes from his own lips and put in Steve’s mouth. Steve accepted it. Billy realized he was staring at Steve’s full lips, his wide dark eyes flicking from the cigarette to Billy’s eyes and then away. It all happened so fast and without thought, it sent lightning charge through Billy. 

“Thanks.” Steve said around the cigarette. 

Billy nodded and cleared his throat. They both turned at the sound of the sliding door opening. 

Mrs Harrington waved and smiled at them both, “Okay boys, come in and wash your hands before dinner! We’re all going to sit down now.” She turned back to says something to Mrs Hargrove. 

Steve couldn’t hear what she was saying and didn’t care. He was too distracted by Billy. If there was anyone that put him on edge it was him, but it was just for different reasons tonight than normal; he took one last drag on his cigarette and leaned over to snuff it in a large glass ashtray his parents kept by the pool, it was fish shaped and tacky. As he did so he felt Billy’s hand glide over his ass, his fingers digging lightly into the soft muscle. Steve stood up straight, not sure what the hell had just happened, Billy looked over his shoulder at him as he casually breezed by and winked. Steve nearly stepped backward into the pool but got his equilibrium just in time.

 

The kitchen felt insanely hot to Billy, he walked down the hall like he owned the place and into the den where Max was sitting up. 

“Hey it’s dinner time, or should I say show time?” Billy winked and smiled broadly at her, his cheeks rosey and his eyes sparkling.

“Are you  _ drunk _ ?” Max whispered looking appalled.

“What? No, please. It was cold outside, and now it’s hot in here…” Billy shook his head at her as if that explained everything.

“Right, well this will be fun.” Max grumbled walking down the hall, “Where’s Steve?” she asked and nearly walked into him.

“Come on, I’ll show you where you’re sitting.” Steve offered her his arm, which she accepted.

“Thanks, are you guys okay?” She kept her voice low, but her expression was rife with worry.

“Yeah, we’re fine. Don’t worry.” Steve smiled, his eyes seemed to be bouncing around everywhere, not resting on anything. Max had seen him get weird before, but now he was acting super weird.  
As soon as Billy sat down at the table he felt himself sober up, Neil was flushed from cocktails and although he was smiling there was a glint of ice in his eyes. Billy knew he had to be on his best behavior or things would get ugly, maybe not right then and now, but soon. Maybe when they got home, or the next morning. Billy had to get this right, part of him wanted to do something outrageous, like flip the table or drag the table cloth off and walk out the front door and never come back… but he knew better, he knew he had to be smart. Starting shit with Neil in front of the new boss and coworker would be fatal. 

The usual banter was going around the table, Plate after plate was passed around and piled with food, if it had been any other gathering, it might have looked like fun, but Steve was too keenly aware that this was some kind of business posturing, a combination of showing off what you had, winning loyalty and maybe even buying friendships. He’d never be able to do this sort of thing. He was faintly aware of the conversation, something about the president, Mrs Hargrove speaking to his mother about how well Maxine was doing in all her classes. Steve stole a glance at Billy who was politely smiling and nodding at something someone said. He didn’t look like himself, he looked like he wasn’t there, in that moment, but somewhere far off. Steve could still feel pressure trails in his skin where Billy’s fingers had been, and he couldn’t deny the rush he felt from it. Steve swallowed hard, he’d need to think about something else, anything else. 

Billy smiled vacantly listening to Steve’s dad talk about the Pacers, Neil started talking Boxing as if he were an authority and then the big cheese, Mr Creeley, made some cliche remark about baseball and the coming season and the other men reacted as if he’d just spoken like an oracle of truth. Billy felt disgusted but he just nodded and dug into his food. Maybe it would be easier to appear like he gave a damn about what they were saying if he was chewing. Everything on the table was spotless, it was set up like a restaurant, water goblets, salad forks, all the extra little bits. Billy frowned just a little as he pulled open his roll, it was so fake. He was never going to be like this, he was never going to put on a show for people he didn’t give a shit about, he swore silently to himself, he’d never ever be like these so called men at the table. With their boring ties, and their sycophantic smiles, they were all so pathetic. He could feel his temper starting to rise, the more he looked at them the angrier he was getting. 

“Hey Billy,” Billy looked over at Steve, his dark wide eyes always looked so vulnerable, even when he was mad, he wasn’t mad now, he looked kind of worried. Billy nodded at Steve indicating he had his attention, the adults were still chattering around them, Billy stole a glance at Max and she looked bored, she was pushing around her roasted potatoes with her fork; he glanced back at Steve waiting for him to say something.

“Have you been over to Lake Jordan?”

“No.” Billy tried not to make a face. It seemed to be some kind of destination to the locals, a place for summer time hangouts.

“Oh. I guess, well, once winter is over, it’s a good spot, around there.” Steve’s smile faltered a little. He’d been watching Billy, he’d looked like he was about to go off, no telling how, but just like his fuse was about done. What Steve had wanted to do was ask him if he was okay, or maybe just to tell him to breathe. A loud booming laugh came out of Mr Creeley, startling Steve. He smiled and took a sip of his water, letting the topic of Lake Jordan drop, although he suddenly couldn’t  help but think of nights parked by Jordan,  _ usually _ with a girl, messing around in the humid heat, on the edge of the forest nothing but trees and stars… what would that be like, with Billy? He felt himself blush and a twinge run deep in his gut, and lower still. He had to stop thinking about Hargrove.

“Steve, are you still playing basketball?” Mrs Creeley was looking at him encouragingly, she had a glass half full of red wine, a bit of iceberg salad on the end of her fork. She was thin and bird like, her narrow features and too large blue eyes fixed on him.

“Yeah, I play. Billy plays too.”

“Oh you’re on the team together. How nice for you two.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool, Billy’s a great player.” Steve nodded, he was great, he just played like a wrecking-ball, Steve poked at his asparagus thinking he should just shut up. 

“Thanks, Harrington, I didn’t think you’d noticed.” Billy snorted into his water glass.

“Steve’s very athletic.” Mrs Harrington interjected.  
“Oh so is Billy, I’m so glad he’s enrolled at Hawkins, I mean, this town, it has a great school system. I was worried you know when we moved.” Susan trailed off and smiled at Neil who had honed in on the conversation.

“I’m hoping he’ll get a scholarship.” Neil announced. 

Billy tried not to look surprised, it was the first time he’d heard of it.

“Well these young men are your legacies, I’m sure they’ll make you both very proud.” Mr Creeley addressed the table with the air of a man that thought very little of the company he was keeping.

“Our Edward got into Notre Dame, not my first choice, you know it’s Catholic, but well, he’s going to do well there. He didn’t go in for sports, he’s more of an academic, business minded, he’s a wiz with math.”

Billy looked at him, his eyes narrowing just a fraction. 

“Maxine, do you want to go to college?” Mrs Creeley inquired, her words coming out a little slurred.

“Oh, she doesn’t need to go to college, a beautiful girl like you, you’re going to be a great wife and mother one day.” Mr Creeley stated this with a wave of his hand.

“I was thinking about being a marine biology major.” Max retorted.

“Have some more pot roast.” Susan suggested taking Max’s plate and loading on more food before Max could protest.

“Women can’t just rely on their looks, Robert.” Mrs Creeley looked peeved.

“Not if they’ve never had them, dear.” Mr Creeley barked a laugh.

“Good thing some of us come from quality families, with money” Mrs Creely handed her empty glass to Mrs Harrington without taking her eyes off her husband, “Where would I be without that.”

An uncomfortable lull in conversation landed on the table like an Albatross. 

“Sharon, I think you’ve had enough.” Mr Creeley cautioned.

“How does coffee and dessert sound?” Mrs Harrington’s voice came out a little high.

“That would be lovely.” Sharon Creely reached over and picked up the wine bottle and filled her glass herself, to near spilling. 

“Well I hope everyone likes coconut cake with pineapple sorbet!” Mrs Harrington stood up, all the men stood up, “Oh, why don’t we move back into the living room, the kids can take their dessert in the den.”

“That’s an excellent plan dear, gentlemen, why don’t we go get  comfortable.” Mr Harrington shot his wife a look that Steve caught, it was something like panic. 

  
  
  


“What a misogynist.”  Max was back in the den with her dessert and a glass of milk.

“Eat your cake.” Billy said.

“Well he is.” Max turned the TV back on.

“Things were just getting interesting.” Billy chuckled as he sank down on the couch, he had a small smile playing in the corner of his mouth, for a second there he wanted to pat Max on the head, but knew if he did she might have bitten him. 

“God, when can we leave.” Max ate a bite of her cake, and then taking up the remote again, flicked through the channels impatiently. 

Not soon enough, Billy thought. Steve was in the kitchen, with the women, he’d hadn’t followed them into the den, he’d popped in with their desserts and then gone back out. Billy wondered if he was sneaking more whiskey, he kind of hoped Steve would bring the bottle in,  but didn’t want to ask for it. 

Steve came in and sat on the couch, the same corner he’d occupied before, he had a plate of dessert for himself but just set it down on the coffee table. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the last few hours of his life, or whatever was going on with Billy, or maybe nothing was going on and Billy was just messing with his head.

“What, no coffee?” Billy toed Steve’s foot.

“Oh, just a sec. Cream and sugar?” Steve stood up, like a good host.

“How about you make mine Irish?” Billy’s bright blue eyes fixed on his, they were at times both menacing and mirthful in a split second. It made Steve nervous, and something else he couldn’t quite decide what that ‘other’ feeling was.. 

“That’s a no go, the ladies are in the kitchen.”

“I bet you could swing it, if you wanted to.”

“Yeah, well…” Steve shrugged uncomfortably. 

“C’mon Harrington, grow a pair, make it happen.” Billy challenged.

“Hang tight, I’ll see.” Steve got up and went back toward the kitchen, Billy watched him as he left the room. As ridiculous as Steve looked in his business dinner threads, it kind of worked on him.

“What do you mean make it Irish?” Maxine eyed Billy suspiciously.

“Eat your cake.”

“You’re such a jerk.”

 

Steve went into the kitchen, his mother, Mrs Creeley and Mrs Hargrove were seated, with their coffee and desserts looking as if they were awaiting test results at a hospital. Susan had  a tight nervous smile. Mrs Creeley was shaking her head.

“I don’t know what it is that men think we are, I mean, are we just here to squeeze out a few kids, leave them a legacy and then fade into the background? I had dreams too, you know, and it wasn’t just having kids, I mean, I’m proud to be Edward’s mother, he’s a wonderful young man.” She pressed her hand over her heart and sniffed with forced emotion, she noticed Steve out of the corner of her eye, and smiled at him as if he alone understood her. Steve nodded and smiled, he pressed his palms over his hips and looked away.

“Just getting some coffee,” he mumbled opening the cabinet to grab a couple of mugs. 

“Oh, use the white ones.” His mother said as she reached over and took Mrs Creeley’s hand. 

“Sharon, it’s just talk, you know, I mean, I know your Robert loves you very much.” Steve’s mother attempted to console her, but Sharon Creely wasn’t having it. 

“Do you? Well, at least one of us does.” Mrs Creely snorted into her Coffee and then put the cup down with mild distaste. 

“How about we put some lead in this?”

“Oh, I don’t drink.” Susan squeaked.

“Well, you’re a better woman than I.” Sharon announced irritably. 

Steve walked over and picked up her cup, appearing as gallant as possible.  
“I know just the thing.”

His mother eyed him, she looked unsure but didn’t intervene.

“What a thoughtful son you have.” Sharon’s predatory eyes sparkled, she looked briefly dazzled.

“An Irish Coffee for the lady.” Steve nodded and walked over the counter, his back to them as he laid out all three cups out of sight and tipped a generous amount of whiskey in each. He added the coffee and cream and walked over Mrs Creeley’s cup and set it down.

“I better get this coffee to Billy.” Steve gestured over at the counter.

“You’re very thoughtful host.” Mrs Creeley stated as she brought the cup to her lips and took a long slow sip.

“I learned from the best.” Steve tilted his head at his mother who looked as if she wished the night was over. 

 

When Steve came back in the room Billy sat up, his blue eyes glimmered and Steve really doubted that either of them should have anymore to drink, but he wanted to impress him, for some reason which Steve wasn’t going to try and figure out at just that particular second.

 

“One Irish coffee, heavy on the Irish.”

“That’s  _ my _ King.” Billy said, he looked into the cup and took a healthy mouthful. Steve could feel himself blushing he felt ridiculous so he just took a long draught from his cup and sat back in his corner. 

“Shhh, this is really good episode.” Max grumbled at them as she hunkered down watching the TV intently. 

“She’s a Twilight Zone junkie, I swear she wishes she lived in an episode.” Billy chuckled.

“No!” Steve and Max said simultaneously.

“Just a joke, weirdos.” Billy glanced at them both amused.

 

The trio of them watched the screen, lost in their own thoughts. Steve was buzzed and shifted lower on the couch, letting his knees spread to take up more room. The pants were going in the donation box in the garage as soon as the night was over. Max coiled her hair on the end of her finger watching the screen, she knew Lucas would be watching the same episode and they would dissect it tomorrow. Billy bumped his knee against Steve’s. Steve looked over, he didn’t recoil or look annoyed. Billy licked his bottom lip keeping his gaze, he knew full well he was treading in dangerous territory, but something about Steve made him wonder if he was totally straight.

The sound of raised voices could be heard from the front half of the house.

“That’s not mom, is it?” Max sat up looking alarmed. 

“No, no it’s not Susan, it’s Mrs Creeley, ” Billy was on his feet, he was closest to the door and had stood up and cracked it open, “I guess this won’t go down on the record as a successful dinner party at the Harrington’s.” Billy remarked casually over his shoulder at Steve as he shut the door. Just as Billy stepped away from the door it opened, Susan poked her head in and smiled at Steve apologetically.

“Maxine, William, we’re leaving now. Thank you Steve, say thank you!” Susan looked at Billy and Max with pleading eyes.

“Yeah, thanks Steve.” Max gave Steve a quick hug. He gently patted her shoulder and was surprised to see Billy extend his, Steve took it and gave a firm shake.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Billy winked at Steve as he downed the last of it. He handed the empty cup to Steve and walked towards the front of the house. Steve started to follow them out to walk them to their car but he was intercepted by his mother. 

“I need you in the kitchen.” Steve knew she didn’t want his help, but merely to keep him away from whatever was happening in the living room. 

  
  
  


The car ride home was excruciating. Billy was more than tipsy, thankfully his father was the kind of man that preferred his son to only speak when spoken to so Billy just kept his mouth shut. A Kenny Rogers cassette was playing in the car stereo, Billy resisted the urge to open his door and roll out onto the street just to get away from the music. Max sat with her head tilted up peering at the sky. The snow that the weatherman had promised never came and the sky was infested with icy colored stars. 

 

“Would you go live on another planet?” Billy asked out of the blue.

“What, alone?”

“I don’t know.”

“I would go with friends, maybe for like, a year… just to see, what it was like,” Max looked over at Billy, “Would you?”

“Hell yes, and I’d never come back.”

“Alone?”

“Probably… who’d go with me?”

Max had no answer to that, and and was thankful that that was when they pulled into the driveway. 

 

Everyone got out of the car and made their way to their respective rooms, Billy avoided looking at Neil, feeling more than a little nervous about all the whiskey he’d drank. Billy closed his bedroom door and leaned on it. It was still relatively early in the evening, not even 10:30 yet, late for a school night by his father’s standards, but for Billy the night was just getting started. Normally he’d be studying but he was too boozed up to even consider cracking open a textbook. He stripped out of his clothes and paced about in his room, a tiger in a too small cage. He looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes were a little glossy, and his cheeks were still flushed, but he imagined if either Neil or Susan had noticed they’d just assume it was the chilly weather. Billy reluctantly laid back in his bed and turned off the lights. The gentle tilt of his alcohol addled brain mildly annoyed him. When he closed his eyes all he could see was Steve in his button down shirt and those charcoal colored slacks he and imagined tracing Steve’s cock through the fabric and felt a pleasurable tension and twinge in his own.

  
  
  


Steve laid back in his bed, he had a light case of the spins. He could hear his father grumbling in the hallway, Steve rolled his eyes and put the pillow over his face. After a few minutes the house grew silent. He tossed the pillow aside and stared up at the ceiling. The familiar glow of blue pool lights crept up his ceiling, when the blinds were tilted just right. The timer cut off the lights at exactly 11PM. Steve groaned thinking about having to get up, and the knowledge that tomorrow was only Tuesday, the year was going too fast and too slow at the same time. The phone rang and he sat up with a jolt. He wondered if it was Nancy or Jonathan, if something was wrong. He leaned over and grabbed the phone, he’d left it in his room earlier when he’d called Jonathan to cancel their plans.

“Hello?!” Steve’s voice came out in stage whisper, fearing the worst. Demodogs, or Will missing, or God knew what.

“Harrington.” A husky purr filled his ear.

“Who is this?” Steve asked knowing the answer.

“Who do you think?” Billy’s tone was mischievous. Steve held the receiver from his ear and squinted at the phone.

“Billy, what’s up?”

“I am.”

“Yeah.” 

“Yeah.” Billy’s tone was mocking, but heavy and soft, drawing Steve in.

“Um, okay, what do you want?” Steve laid back in bed, confused and intrigued.

“Just, you know…” Billy sighed.

“Was that coffee Irish enough?” Steve teased nervously.

“Oh yeah, you delivered, King Steve.” 

Steve drew a slow breath, not knowing what to say. He could hear Billy’s breathing, slow and steady, he felt his own breathing fall into rhythm. 

“I like those slacks, or should I say trousers? What’s the proper term?”

“What?” Steve chuckled softly, “I don’t know, pants?” 

“Well, they looked a little tight, I wouldn’t be caught dead in them, but they looked damned good on you.”

“Uh…” Steve muttered, he suddenly worried this was some kind of joke, that there was someone else on the line. He sat up on one elbow, he considered hanging up.

“Am I keeping you from something?” Billy asked faintly.

“No.”

“You’re in bed?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t get to see your room.”

“Oh, um, it’s upstairs.”

“Yep, I know.”

“Okay.” Steve said faintly.

“I’m in bed too. Feeling pretty good. I feel kind of really good, you know?”

“Is that the whiskey?” 

“Mm… some of it. Did you take off your pants?”

“Uh, yes.” Steve swallowed, he heard Billy let out a slow sigh.

“Must of felt pretty good, getting out of those.”

“Yeah, uh, real good.”

“You’ve got a nice cock, Harrington,” Billy drawled casually, “I wonder if you know what to do with it. It looks like quite the handful.”

“I’ve not had any complaints.” Steve reached down and pressed his hand under his boxers, he squeezed himself slowly, it didn’t take much for it deep quiver to run up his stomach and down deep into his balls.

“No, not even about it being too big?” Billy’s voice had dropped, lower and softer.

“No.” Steve couldn’t help but laugh, partially from shyness and a mixture of pride that Billy had noticed, he could feel his cheeks and throat flush hotly.

“Mm…” Billy’s murmured faintly into the phone, “Must be one hell of a ride.”

Steve swallowed into the darkness, he licked his lips searching for words and started working his cock, cradling the phone under his chin, freeing up both hands.

“How do you like it?” Steve asked in a rush of breathless words, he squeezed his eyes tight, afraid he’d crossed a line.

“Oh, I like it, I like it anyway I can get it, but the best, is when they’re hungry for  _ it _ . You know what I mean, Harrington?” Billy purred.

“...yeah.” Steve whispered.

“ _ Fuck-yeah _ .” Billy asserted.

Steve could hear Billy’s breath coming a little faster, his own matching in pace. 

“Are you, jerking it, right now, Harrington?”

“What?” Steve froze mid stroke.

“I know you are,  _ don’t _ stop and don’t hang up.” Billy voice was cocktail of commanding and pleading. Steve doubled his efforts stroking himself steadily.

“Are you?” 

“Yes.”

The line grew quiet, just the sound of Billy’s breathing,  small brief hums and low vibrations crept through the phone and into Steve’s ear, without intending to he mimicked the sounds with his own fluttering moan as he grew harder. 

“Are you close?” 

“Almost.” Billy sounded breathless, Steve wanted to stoke the fire but wasn’t sure what to say.

“Does it feel good, Billy?” Steve said quietly.

“Mm, yeah.”

“Are you thinking about… my dick?” Steve couldn’t believe what he’d just asked but got a thrill out of daring to say it. 

“Fuck…” Billy growled.

“I’d take  _ you _ for a ride, Hargrove.” Steve realized just how much he meant what he’d just said as he came into his hand, the thought of fucking Billy Hargrove pushed him over the edge.

“Maybe one day I’ll let you.” Billy grunted, and let out a nearly inaudible moan. 

Steve listened to the sound of Billy panting, he had no doubt that Billy had come. He heard the clink of metal and the rasp of the flint as Billy lit a cigarette.

“I’d share a smoke with you, but you know, you’re there and I’m here, see you a school, King Steve.” With that the line clicked Steve removed the phone from his ear. 

  
  
  


_________________________________________________________________________  
  
  


It had been two days since the dinner at the Harrington’s. Billy was sitting in his French class, there was still 8 minutes left for the exam, but he’d finished the test in two minutes. He’d been taking French classes since his freshman year and over the summers too. He was pretty sure he had a better vocabulary than the teacher, Mr Calvino. Billy rolled his pencil between his palms as if to start a fire, he bounced his heels impatiently. Gym class was next. He wanted to see Steve, wanted to hear his voice, get close enough on the court to smell him. Billy twirled his pencil between in fingers. He could hear Vicki faintly muttering in her stiff and heavily accented French. He almost corrected her but knew if he said anything out loud he’d just get in trouble for helping her cheat. Billy glanced at the clock, it had to be running slow. He checked his watch, nope, time had just slowed down. Billy glanced up at the ceiling. There were three pencils stuck into the tiles above his head, with a snap of his wrist he speared the fourth near the other three. He heard a few students chuckle around him. Mr Clavino looked up from his desk and cast his typical stern glare around the room. Billy leaned across his desk and snagged one of Maggie’s pink pencils off her desk and flicked it expertly into the ceiling tile above her desk. She looked at him in astonishment and total irritation. Billy shrugged his shoulders as if it had been a total accident at which she flipped him the bird. More ripples of laughter spread across the room, Billy made a lip puckered air kiss at her, making for more titters from his fellow students.

“Is there a problem, Margaret?” Mr Calvino had looked up to see her with her middle finger pointed at Billy but hadn’t been quick enough to notice the unwanted air kiss Billy had delivered in response.

“No, no sir.” Maggie sunk into her seat, her face beet red.

“Good.” Mr Calvino nodded and sat back looking rather smug for having caught the culprit that was causing the disturbance. 

After an eternity the bell rang and class was over. Billy weaved his way around his fellow students, moving like a shark tracking the scent of blood. He had just rounded the corner into the boys’ locker room when he spotted Harrington and Byers talking to each. Steve was peeling off his sweater and Byers was nodding as Steve spoke, lacing some torn up Adidas, he paused to crack a joke but Billy hadn’t heard what it was, he felt a surge of jealousy when Steve laughed genuinely at whatever it was Byers had said. Billy walked between them, and up to his locker which was near Steve’s. 

“Hey.” Steve said and nodded, his mouth seemed to make extra  syllables but no sounds came out. 

“You ready to get creamed?” Billy snarked, but only managed to make himself blush, he turned his face away and focused on his combination lock, twirling passed the correct combination a couple of times over.

“We’ll see.” Steve replied, his voice even, totally unperturbed. 

“See you.” Byers said to Steve.

“Later.” Steve nodded in Jonathan’s direction. 

Billy watched as Jonathan walked out of the locker room, a few other students were rushing in to change before they were marked tardy. So they were friends, Tommy had said as much. 

 

On the court the teams were divvied up. Billy and Steve were on opposing teams, which is the way Billy liked it, he prowled up and down the court.

“Did you see Harrington talking to Byers, I can’t believe it man, he’s such a fucking faggot. I knew Nancy was gonna screw him over, but this is pathetic.” Tommy ran his mouth, normally Billy could tune him out, or just out talk him, but Billy couldn’t find the right words, couldn’t think of anything, so he just kept his eyes on Steve, watching him move up and down the court, loose limbed and focused on everything but Billy.

“You should ask Nancy for your balls back Steve, as if you ever had any.” Tommy taunted moving down the court, his expression smug. 

Billy kept staring at Steve, and Steve wasn’t looking back, his gaze was everywhere but on him. Billy felt his temper spark, he narrowed his eyes. As soon as the scrimmage began Billy was ready. He watched as the ball was dribbled and passed and as soon as it was in Steve’s control he crowded in. Billy slapped it away and shouldered into Steve, passing the ball down the court to Tommy. 

“Wake up Harrington.” Billy barked, he watched as Steve moved across the court following the ball, ignoring him.

The game got going in earnest, both teams playing hard, neither sides playing well. Billy took control of the ball and was about to take a shot when Harrington popped up in front of him out of nowhere and cleanly stole the ball. Steve was quick to pass it and doubled back around Billy running full tilt down the court. Billy left his position shadowing Steve. A  sloppy pass was intercepted by Steve and Billy checked him into the ground. Steve went down hard, Billy took control of the ball and went for a long shot, the ball bounced off the rim of the hoop. He didn’t care he hadn’t made the shot, he looked back at Steve who was scrambling to his feet, mouth tight with pain.

“It’s not your game Harrington, guess it hasn’t been for a while now.” Billy tried to goad Steve, but only earned fleeting glance, and then Steve’s attention was back on the ball, his focus on the court. The game went on, Billy got in Steve’s space at every opportunity, and came away with little to no reaction every time. The game was disorganized and Billy didn’t even care which team won. He was considering walking off the court, lost in thought he barely registered the squeaks of sneaker souls or the whistle’s shriek, he looked down court and saw the Steve was down on his back. A couple kids were pointing at Tommy. Billy jogged over, curious and his heart skipped a beat, Steve’s nose was bleeding heavily. Tommy just shrugged in mocked innocence. 

“You elbowed him in the face!” Meyers, the coaches assistant sounded like he didn’t believe what he’d just seen, he was walking towards Tommy with his hands thrown out as if waiting for reason or explanation.

“It was an accident.” Tommy could hardly keep himself from laughing. In a flash Steve was on his feet and throwing a lightning quick right hook into Tommy’s face.

“Damn!” Billy blurted in surprise. 

“Harrington!” Coach Banks was on the move to get between them.

“What? It was an accident.” Steve stated cooly. He used the hem of his T-shirt to wipe the blood from his nose and mouth, his eyes locked on Billy’s. They were darkly alive, a look Billy had never seen before. Tommy had been knocked on his ass and was getting up, but the Coach Banks had placed himself between them. Billy took it all in, but mostly kept his eyes on Steve, who was standing there casually dabbing at his nose. 

“Steve, Go to the nurse’s office, and when you’re done bleeding go to the principal’s, same for you Tommy.” Coach Banks nodded at Meyers, who only shrugged in return. 

Billy wanted nothing more than to follow the pair of the out of the gym, but there’s no way the both Banks and Meyers wouldn’t notice, and he’ couldn’t just walk out of class, he never ditched, he couldn’t risk word getting back to his father. The rest of the game went in a blur. Steve was obviously going to be fine, Billy wasn’t worried about that; Steve was tougher than he looked. Tougher than Billy had ever dreamt the first time he’d seen him, despite those wide eyes and soft features.

 

After school Billy beelined it to his car, for once he didn’t need to take Max home, she’d stayed home sick, and all he wanted to do was go for a long drive, the idea of cruising by Harrington’s house flashed through his mind, but of course he wouldn’t do that. His boot heels crunched along the icy asphalt, there was more slush and ice than snow. His eyes were watering from the cold. 

“Fuck Indiana.” He grumbled as he opened the door to his car and chucked his book bag into the passenger seat. Billy leaned on the side of his car and lit up a cigarette. He scanned the parking lot, watching the other students hustle along, there was no sign of Harrington.

“Fuck everything.” He got in his car and put the key in the ignition, he turned the key and got nothing. No roar of the engine, just  a sad winding whirring whine. It was the battery. He knew right away.

“FUCK!” Billy bellowed.. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut and paced a wide circle. 

“MOTHER-FUCKING-SON-OF-A-BITCH-SHIT-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK!” There was no way in hell he was going to walk home, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to go back to school and call Neil and beg him for help. He felt screwed, he could try and track down Carol or Tommy if they were still around, but he didn’t want to talk to Tommy, that little kiss ass got what he deserved when Harrington clocked him. Billy spotted Jon walking up to his piece of shit Ford.

“Hey, Byers. You’ve got cables.” Billy accused.

“Jumpers, sure.” Jon slowed down, he was dressed for the weather and looked immune to the cold, it infuriated Billy, it was a bit smug not to look miserable in this weather in Billy’s opinion. Jon just looked to Billy like he always looked, disinterested in the world around him, lost in his own weirdo thoughts. Billy thought for a moment that Jonathan was just going to drive away, when he hopped in his car, but he drove it over till the cars were nearly nose to nose. He cut the engine and went around the trunk, he was digging around in a box when Billy walked over and peered inside.

“Is that a god damned bear trap?”

“I’m not sure if it’s just for bears.” Jon responded calmly shoving it aside and grabbing the cables from underneath it. 

“You go hunting?” Billy didn’t believe it for one second, but then again he was trapped in rural hell.

“Only once. I didn’t like it much.”  Jon gestured at the hood of the Camaro. Billy followed his cue and popped the hood.  Byers was hooking up the cables like a pro, he looked at Billy’s battery, and squinted.

“You’re sure it’s not the alternator?”

“It’s the battery.”

“Okay.” Byers nodded and got into his Ford and started it up. It wasn’t long before the Camaro came to life. Byers removed the cables and tossed them back into his trunk. Billy observed him, Jonathan hadn’t gloated, or hesitated to help.  
“Hey, Byers.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Jon smiled faintly and nodded.

Billy got in his idling car and revved the engine. He hadn’t expect Jon to be so… cool. Billy realized they’d never actually spoken to one another. It had all been second hand information from Tommy. Jon may have creeped on Nancy and eventually stolen her from Steve, but he seemed cooler than most kids at the school in five minutes than everyone else he’d spoken to in the last four months. A motion in his rearview mirror caught Billy’s attention. It was Harrington’s BMW driving out of the lot, he could see Steve’s profile for just a flash and then he was gone. Billy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, he turned on the stereo and backed out of the parking spot, taking his time, he followed Steve’s car for a few blocks, he wondered if Steve noticed or cared. There was a loud honk, Billy glanced over his shoulder, about to flip a bird when he saw Tommy and Carol pulling up beside him. Carol had her head out the passenger window, her hair blowing wildly in the cold air, a bright smile on her face.

“Hey! You should come over to my place, Vicki’s coming, and Tina too.” She sat back in the seat, recoiling from the cold air and waved happily at him as she rolled the window up. Billy nodded and sped up, trying to get away from them. Tommy must’ve thought it was a game and sped, trying to out pace the Camaro, it really rankled Billy. The two cars raced along the narrow road, side by side. Billy knew he could out strip Tommy in a second, but the road was always busy after school and he wasn’t about to get in a wreck. They came up on Steve’s car in a flash, Billy had been expecting it so he had no trouble slowing down, and keeping expert control, Tommy on the other hand nearly drove into a car turning into his lane from a small side street, with the slushy roads Billy thought it was going to get ugly fast. Tommy nearly plowed sideways into Harrington’s car, but Steve smartly dropped his speed instead of slamming his breaks. Billy watched as time slowed down, his own car started to fishtail on the ice and he felt his stomach drop, his car was heavy and Harrington’s BMW was right in his path. Harrington’s bumper was getting closer and closer, He could see Steve’s eyes flash wide in the rearview mirror. Billy’s car slid sideways, he turned his wheel into the slide and regained control. It was over almost before it had begun. Billy pulled off the road and put the car in park hissing a string of curses. His heart was racing, adrenalized and thumping. He lit a cigarette and sat there smoking. Fresh snow was starting to land on his windshield. Tommy and Carol must of turned onto a side street, Billy peered up and down the road, Tommy’s car was nowhere in sight. Billy watched the fat flakes land on the windshield, they were falling steadily and weeping into water on the glass. He felt his eyes sting, but just shook his head. There was a solid wrapping on his driver’s side window, Billy’s body was already tense, but he looked over very slowly, for a minute he was worried it was Hopper or one of his cronies, but it was just Harrington. His nose and lips were still a bit puffy from catching Tommy’s elbow, but it seemed as though that had happened days ago. Billy lowered the window. 

“Harrington.” Billy said.

“Are you okay?” 

“What do you think?” Billy snapped.

“I think you and Tommy are idiots.” Steve said straightening up, he’d gone from looking concerned to pissed off.   
“Don’t fucking equate me with Tommy.”

“Sure, whatever.” Steve turned away and was walking back to his car. Billy ground his teeth. He’d been desperate to see Steve for two days, and now they’d finally been speaking to one another, alone, away from everyone and all he’d managed to do was piss Steve off.

“Harrington.” Billy called, not sure what to say next.

Steve slowed and turned around. His arms were folded around himself, tightly. Snow flakes were landing brightly in his dark hair. Billy never wanted to forget the sight of him, walking back towards him, on the road in winter, the dusk light tingeing the sky purple, his bruised lip, his eyes dark in thought. Billy got out of his car.

“I wasn’t trying to race him, or run you off the road, dumbass.” Billy wished he could bite back the last word that had just tripped off his tongue.  _ Be nice, be nice, be nice _ . His mind raced, he didn’t know what to say and Harrington just threw his hands up turning away.

“Are you okay?” Billy spat out the words, it sounded mocking even in his own ears.

“Sure man, I just got elbowed in the face, and narrowly avoided a three car pile up, I’m peachy.”

Billy rolled his shoulders, fidgeting, he took a long drag on his cigarette looking at Steve’s tired eyes and expectant expression. 

“Nice right hook you gave Tommy.” Billy meant it, he’d been impressed.

“Well, that was long overdue, I guess…” Steve moved closer, his shoes crunching on the icy sludge along the roadside. 

“You guys used to be tight.” Billy leaned back, his eyes on the ground, he didn’t want to look at Steve, because he knew once he did it’d be hard to look away.

“Things like that don’t matter anymore.” Steve replied with a shrug.

Billy had wanted to get Steve’s attention all day, to just talk to him, or something and now when it was happening, he was at a total loss. He pulled out his cigarettes, not knowing what to do with himself. Steve was just standing there not moving. Billy looked up at Steve’s face and tried to read his mind. He had no idea what Steve was thinking, maybe he hated him, maybe Steve just felt sorry for him, or maybe, maybe Steve could like him, just a little bit. 

“You want to grab dinner? My folks are out of town, no awkward business dinners tonight…” 

“Okay.” Billy accepted the invitation, a thrill of nerves running up his stomach.

“Just us…” Steve rambled, Billy wasn’t sure if Steve had heard him say yes or not. 

“Can I come by later?” Billy peered up at him, making sure Steve was listening this time.

“Sure, yeah.” Steve nodded. 

“Cool. See you later.”

“Okay.” Steve gave Billy a lopsided smile, and turned away walking back to his car. 

Billy could feel his heart jumping in his chest. He shook his head, as he got in his car. It felt as if anything could happen, something, nothing… but at least he’d get to be alone with Harrington tonight. 

  
  


_________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Steve drove home in a fog, he didn’t really notice the snowflakes flying past his window. Billy Hargrove was coming to dinner, they weren’t even friends, but Steve hoped at the very least that they were no longer enemies. Steve zipped up his driveway and opened the garage with the remote. He parked inside and hustled upstairs to his room. He’d never been so grateful in his life that his parents were away. Sure there’d been nights when he’d thrown a party, but this felt different, more taboo; not that he was sure anything would happen, and yet his heart was already racing.

In his room he paced about, making sure that there wasn’t anything too embarrassing laying around. He glanced at his watch only to realize they hadn’t set a time.

“Shit.” Steve pressed his hands through his hair. 

The sound of his doorbell made him jump so hard he nearly hit the ceiling. Steve hustled down the stairs, taking two at a time, practically running to the door. He stood still for a moment and caught his breath. Checked his hair in the hallway mirror, and then opened the door with his best casual smile.

“Hey-ey?” Steve straightened up, before him was Chief Hopper, Steve never got used to the size of the guy, he was just a  _ wall _ .

“Hey, you expecting someone else?”

“Yeah, sort of, is everything okay?”

“Sure. You’re jumpy kid.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, I think all of us are.”

“You mean you are too?”

“Some nights, absolutely.”

“How’s she doing?”

“She’s aces, doing great.” Hopper smiled and nodded, his adoration for his daughter, Jane, sometimes called El, was written all over his face.

“I came by because Mrs Highsmith said some of the students were drag racing, and she identified your BMW.” Hopper slipped into his exhausted on duty tone, dry and to the point. 

“I was not drag racing, I was almost rear…” Steve shut his mouth, worrying that he’d get Billy in trouble.  
“I mean, it was just a little fast driving going on, you know Hop, I mean, we’re just blowing off steam.”

“You don’t say?” Hopper watched Steve with a pained expression of tolerance, “I also heard you punched Tommy in the face.”

“He elbowed me in the face, first! How’d you even know about that?”

“So that’s why you punched him? Over some bullshit poor sportsmanship? Your nose isn’t even broken, come on Harrington.”

“It hurt.” Steve said sulkily. 

“Yeah he got you pretty good,” Hop Leaned in, taking in Steve’s slightly swollen upper lip and pinkish nose. “Right in the pride.” 

“It’s not like that.” Steve frowned, his mouth contorted, not knowing what to say.

“Yeah, it is. Get your ego in check, Harrington, you’re not a kid anymore. Mrs Highsmith wanted me to charge you boys with reckless driving, and some other jumped up nonsense. I need you to be safe and smart. I need you out of trouble, in case some real trouble comes along.” Hopper tilted his head,  his eyes said it all and Steve felt a flood of shame.

“Yeah, I know. I’m ready, I mean, I’m here.” Steve’s stomach clenched, thinking about what Hopper really meant, about the gate, about the monsters and real life and death situations.

“The kids need you.” Hopper’s words were soft and heavy, he looked away and up and down the street.

“I get it, Hop. I’m here, for them, and you and Jane.”

“Good.” Hopper cleared his throat and nodded.

It was then that Steve heard Billy’s Camaro coming along the road. His heart skipped against hs ribs. Hopper glanced up the street.

“That better not be trouble.”

“What no, Billy and I are, working things out.”

“You don’t say.”

“I mean, we’re trying.”

“Mmkay, you haven’t talked about,”

“No, no way.”

“Keep it that way.”

Billy slowed down quickly, Steve watched wondering if he was going to keep driving passed, but he parked his car. Glancing at the pair of them, his face was obscured, and Steve couldn’t even imagine what must be running through his mind, seeing Steve at his door with the number one law man looming there. Billy got out of the car, with a ridiculous amount of swagger. Steve smiled a bit, then quickly stifled it with a stiff little frown. Hargrove was nothing if not cocky. He walked up towards them with his chin lifted, as if he’d been expecting the chief of police to be there. 

 

“This punk.” Hopper said with tinge of ire and a long suffering sigh.

“Good evening, Officer.” Billy said with smirk.

“Billy Hargrove, I don’t ever want to hear about your blue Camaro being described as participating in a drag race again. Got it?”

“Crystal clear.” Billy straightened a little, caught off guard, he shot a look at Steve. Steve flattened his palms and pushed down, as if compressing the air before him, and shook his head slightly.

“I wasn’t drag racing, I don’t go for that kind of thing, you know, these small town roads just don’t suit me.”

“Enough with the bullshit, just don’t do.”

“No problemo.” Billy said with a shrug, but Steve could see that Billy’s eyes danced with a little nervous energy. A faint few blips of sound came from the radio. Hopper cocked his head towards his vehicle.

“Good night.” He adjusted his hat and sized Billy up, he looked mightily unimpressed and walked to his Blazer.

“What the fuck was that about?” Billy hissed at Steve.

“Mrs Highsmith complained about our driving, apparently.”

“Fuck her, and fuck small town cops.” Billy growled.

“Hopper’s alright, he just takes his job seriously.” Steve watched as Hopper drove away.

“Don’t all pigs.”

“He’s different, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not.” Billy’s brow was knit.

“You hungry?” Steve opted to change the topic, there was no way he was going to try and win Billy over to Hopper’s side, it would take him all night and he’d have to omit the major reasons to like Hop, such as;   _ he’s saved lives, and fought interdimensional monsters, like really, really aggressive plant monsters and lizard dogs and stuff.  _

“I’m starving.” Billy admitted.

“Let’s get some grub then.” Steve swung the door open and followed closely behind Billy to the kitchen. Getting in from the cold and putting behind the intrusion of Hopper helped Steve breathe a little easier, but then the exciting fact that he was alone, in his house with Hargrove, and he really wanted to be alone with him, got Steve all keyed up again. 

“Do you like steak?” Steve walked over the fridge and pulled out a large pair of steaks, a heavy glass dish with mashed potatoes and set them on the counter. 

“Yeah, doesn’t everyone?” Billy paced in the kitchen, and then leaned on the counter with his arms folded. 

“I guess, well, you don’t strike me as a vegetarian.” Steve grabbed some carrots, a head of lettuce, and some tomatoes. 

“I’m not some granola eating hippie.” Billy lit a cigarette watching Steve fumble with his armload of vegetables. 

“Has anyone ever called you a hippie?” Steve grabbed a cutting board out of a drawer, and took a bowl down from a cupboard.

“Yeah, but it’s the hair, not the attitude.” Billy sniggered.

“Yeah, I could see that.”  Steve smiled softly, he liked hearing Billy laugh, even if it was just a little one. 

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Yeah, I’m cooking.” 

“Okay,” Billy held his hands up, barely suppressed smile. “Well since you’re cooking, why don’t I make the salad, before you stab yourself.” Billy took the knife out of Steve’s hand and started slicing the tomatoes.

“Right, I’ll do this stuff here.” Steve turned on the oven, and grabbed a pan. He kept glancing over at Billy who was calmly smoking and slicing up lettuce. He wanted to say something, or ask something, but he just couldn’t think of anything remotely cool to talk about. He didn’t even know if they were friends, but he was starting to believe this was at the very least some kind of a beginning. Steve turned on the kitchen radio to fill the silence. A college station that played New Wave came on the air, Madness’s One Step Beyond was midway through.

“There aren’t really any Metal stations around here, but you know this station has a DJ that does a Metal set on the weekends,  between 1AM and 4AM, Queensryche, and Ratt, Judas Priest…”

“How would you know?” Billy asked, his tone sounded a little harsh, but when Steve glanced at Billy, Billy dropped his gaze down to the mushrooms he was slicing and drew a breath, “I never really pegged you as the type that knows how to tell one Metal band from another.”

“Sometimes I can’t sleep, or I don’t want to sleep.” Steve spoke slowly, choosing his words with care, he poured canola oil on the pan, and tapped in some garlic powder, “So, I listen to whatever’s on, and I like this station. The dj sounds really stoned most nights, but he keeps it interesting.”

Billy pushed the vegetables off the cutting board and into the bowl, Steve watched him, found himself staring. He turned his attention back on the food, he placed the glass pan of potatoes in the oven and shut the door. 

“Why wouldn’t you want to sleep?” Billy’s voice was soft, he’d moved closer to Steve, his bright blue eyes fixed on him.

“Uh, I don’t know.” Steve lied.

The herbs in the pan started to sizzle and pop, Steve grabbed the steaks and gingerly laid them on the pan and put a lid on top. The kitchen was starting to smell good, the buttery potatoes were heating up, the oil and garlic hot in the pan. It was nice having Billy there, cooking with him. 

“D’you always eat like this?”

“Nah, if you weren’t here I’d be eating cereal.” Steve blushed, he didn’t want Billy to think he was trying to impress him.

“Lucky me.” Billy said softly, he picked a couple carrot slices off the top of the salad and crunched them watching Steve. The Police were playing on the radio, Steve hummed along, Murder by Numbers was one of his favorites.

“This song sounds like old man jazz,” Billy scoffed. Steve sighed and shrugged.  
“It’s not your thing, I get it.” Steve reached over to turn down the radio, but Billy put his hand over his, it was a very light touch that sent a fire smouldering in Steve’s belly.

“But I like they lyrics.” Billy said quietly. 

“Why am I not surprised.” Steve laughed, he couldn’t help himself, he was giddy. Billy leaned on the counter, letting his hand slide off Steve’s.

“So what else can you cook?”

“Not much, to be honest. I mean, nothing fancy. You?”

“The basics, I don’t do it much, anymore. I used to help out in the kitchen when I was little, I mean, before…”

“Before what?”

“When my mom was still around.”

“Oh.” Steve looked at Billy, Billy turned to the salad bowl and picked a couple veggies off the top, not facing him. 

“How about a drink?” Billy suggested between bites.

“Good idea.” Steve wanted to ask Billy about cooking with his mother, what was she like? Was she back in California? It made Steve realize how little he knew about Billy.

“How about vodka? Does that pair well with steak and mashed potatoes?” Steve teased.

“Oh absolutely Miss Childs, don’t you know vodka is made from potatoes?” Billy walked over and took the bottle from Steve he untwisted the cap, winked and took a long slug directly from the bottle, Steve watched Billy’s throat work down three gulps and resisted the urge to walk up to him and lick his neck clean of salt. 

Billy wiped the mouth with the back of his hand and smiled, his bright eyes glimmering with mischief, his expression wolfish. Steve thought he might melt through the floor. Billy thrust the bottle into Steve’s hand.

“Drink up.” Billy commanded and Steve complied without hesitation and even managed to outdo Billy by and additional two swallows.

“Nice, King Steve.” Billy nodded, and took the bottle back, he took a quick sip and set it down, he walked over to the pan and removed the lid and flipped both of the steaks. Steve glanced out at the back yard, the lights were on and the snow was coming down steadily. 

“I guess the snow finally arrived.” Steve watched the flakes flit through the light and vanish into shadows, he felt a chill run down his spine recalling the flakes of filth and dust that had filled the tunnels. He could remember the rotting plants, the odor thick and heavy, it stayed in his hair, and his clothes, it lingered in his dreams.

“Harrington?” Billy’s hand was on Steve’s shoulder, his head was tilted, his eyes searching Steve’s.

“Yes? What, sorry…” Steve stepped back and looked around at the kitchen. He would swear on his life that he’d just looked outside for a split second, but it was pretty clear by Billy’s look that he’d been checked out for a bit.

“C’mon, I think everything’s done.” Billy dropped his hand off of Steve’s shoulder and turned towards the stove. 

Steve led they way upstairs to his room, both of their plates were heavy with food, thick steaks, mashed potatoes and piles of salad on top. They sprawled on the carpeted floors like Sultans with a few pillows from Steve’s bed to rest their elbows on. It was a makeshift picnic, and it made Steve feel both grown up and like a kid at the same time. Steve grabbed a tape and popped it in. Billy had the bottle of vodka under his arm, he set it between them glanced around at the room.

“What are we watching?” Billy asked between bites of salad, he was already cutting up his steak.

“Caddyshack.” Steve watched for Billy’s expression and wasn’t disappointed, he smiled and nodded. It was a small smile, but it was a true one and even with bits of lettuce between his lips it made Steve’s heart thump.

They ate and drank, chuckling between bites as they watched the movie. It was the most fun Steve had had at home in a while. He’d hung out a few times with Nancy and Jon, but this was different. Before them it had been Tommy and Carol, which was often fun, when they were younger, but over the last few years, before he and Nancy got serious it became like an unspoken competition, and Tommy and Carol were always bad mouthing everyone; as if it would somehow elevate them. For a long time Steve had gone along with it, and then like a light being clicked on, he just didn’t want to do it anymore. Nancy had helped him see that, see that it wasn’t weak to care. Steve looked back at the TV, Chevy Chase was putting away like a zen golf master, cracking wise and being suave and insane at the same time. Steve wanted to look at Billy, but just focused on eating his food for a bit, and listened for the occasional soft chuckle coming from Billy. The TV was pretty small so they were close together, shoulder’s practically touching. Their dirty plates were soon shoved off to the side, and Steve kept stealing glances of Billy. He liked it when Billy laughed, it was low and soft, kind of husky, unless something particularly slapstick happened on screen, then it went up with a  _ ha _ and then down into a dirty snigger. When the movie was ending Steve couldn’t help but feel a little sad that Billy would be leaving soon. He couldn’t wrap his mind around how everything had changed, maybe nothing had changed, he just realized maybe he could like Billy. There was  _ something _ there, between them. 

  
  
  


Steve leaned over and pressed the stop after the gopher was done dancing to the credits music. He could smell Billy’s cologne, it was a little sharp, but not unpleasant, it suited Billy. The room was warm and dim. Steve shifted a little closer to Billy, he waited a beat to see if Billy would move away, but he didn’t. Steve could feel himself getting nervous all over again, he felt like he was about to jump out of a plane.

Billy sat up and Steve turned facing him on his knees, he could feel himself blushing.

“I gotta go, maybe we’ll get lucky and there’ll be a snow day tomorrow.” Billy looked at Steve and then away.

“You could stay the night, I mean if you want.”

“Can’t.”

“Just hang out, for a bit.” Steve said fully aware of how petulant he sounded.

Billy looked at him, with a curious expression, he was about to say something, but Steve had other plans, he leaned in and kissed Billy, open mouthed, and pressed his fingers into his honey blonde curls. Steve felt Billy’s body jump, he gripped Steve’s wrists painfully tight. Steve closed his eyes and focused on the kiss, he tasted Billy’s lip, it was salty and also bitter from the vodka, and deliciously warm. Billy returned the kiss after a what felt like an eternity. Their tongues meeting, Billy leaning in roughly their teeth grazing lightly. Steve felt a flush of fire rush up his core, Billy released Steve’s wrists and wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist squeezing tightly, compressing his ribs. Steve turned his head and nipped gently at Billy’s bottom lip. Billy let out a small moan between kisses and squeezed Steve’s lower back. Steve reached between them and groped his hand over Billy’s crotch.

“Shit.” Billy gasped, and kissed Steve again, his hips rolling forward, he reached down and pressed a hand over Steve’s encouraging him. Steve leaned forward and tipped Billy on his back, and crawled on top of him. They kissed again, a little slower, a little deeper.  Steve rutted his hips against Billy’s muscular thigh, when their lips parted wetly Steve lifted his head to see Billy’s bright blue eyes and fixed on his, Steve squeezed Billy through his jeans again and rolled his hips slowly.

“Just this once...” Billy mumbled, his breath catching.

Steve said nothing in reply, he went for Billy’s belt buckle, and sat up straddling him, his weight resting on Billy’s thighs. Billy pulled off his shirt. Steve thought they should move to the bed, or maybe take off their shoes, but he couldn’t wait, wouldn’t wait. He bit Billy’s collar bone, and dragged his lips up the side of his throat, his teeth and tongue exploring while his hands went into Billy’s jeans and under his boxers.

“Jesus, Harrington.” Billy squirmed excitedly beneath him his voice betraying a soft quiver making Steve grow harder.

“You, just, it’s…” Steve couldn’t think of how words worked, so he gave up and kissed Billy’s beautiful pink lips. Steve coiled his fingers around Billy’s cock and started stroking him. Billy groaned into his mouth, his hands squeezed Steve’s ass tightly making Steve squeak and jump. 

“Do you want to touch me?” Steve inquired hopefully.

“Yeah.” Billy rasped. 

Steve grabbed Billy’s left wrist and pressed his tongue over his palm, he licked and licked, and bit the flesh between his thumb and index, watching Billy’s glossy eyes track his every move, feeling Billy’s hard cock in his hand and wanting Billy to feel his.  Steve sat up unbuckling his own belt. He slid off of Billy and reached behind the headboard of his bed and grabbed a sequestered bottle of baby oil. Steve flipped the cap with the tip of his thumb and poured some oil in his palm, he glanced at Billy who was flushed, his eyes dancing between Steve’s face and his exposed cock. Steve rubbed his palms together, with nervous excitement, and reached down and wrapped his hands around Billy’s cock, stroking and squeezing.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.” Billy nearly purred his answer, his hips rising into the strokes. Billy’s hands pressed over Steve’s encouragingly, then he reached over and helped himself to the oil, soon both their hands were sliding over one another’s, their fingers entangling, their cocks full and straining. 

“Uh.” Billy’s grunt made Steve shudder. Steve gripped the back of Billy’s head and pulled him into a deep kiss, he kept his right hand wrapped around both their cocks, their fingers practically entwined. In a few strokes they were both moaning into the kiss, as the came.

Billy withdrew from the kiss gasping for breath.

“Damn.” Billy muttered, his face flushed his eyes sparkling and damp lashed. 

“Fuck.” Steve swore softly and pressed his face into Billy’s neck nipping and kissing at his hot flesh. It didn’t take long for them both to become hard again. Steve pulled Billy on top and sprawled backwards on the floor, writhing up hungrily.

“Mmm.” Steve wrapped one leg around Billy’s hip and arched up to him, feeling desperate. Billy rocked into their hands steadily, huffing hotly in Steve’s ear.

“Yes.” Steve encouraged.

“Ah,” Billy mumbled incoherently his thrusts growing longer and harder.

“Come on me, come on me.” Steve urged rolling up to him. 

It didn’t take much coaxing, Billy came quickly. They both laid on the floor breathing heavily. Steve didn’t want to let go, but Billy started to pull away. Steve held on, tentatively. 

“I gotta go, man.”

“Just, hold on.” Steve caught Billy’s face and kissed him slowly, dining on Billy plump lips, his tongue darting, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of Billy’s sides. He could feel Billy smile as he pulled away, hiding his expression.

“Stop fucking around, I need to leave.” Billy’s tone was soft, almost shy. 

“Okay, okay. Fine.” Steve pulled him close again and kissed him tenderly, and pet his ribs under if shirt, his long fingers finding Billy’s nipples and pinching and pulling at them.

“Knock it off.” Billy said faintly but holding still, a quivering breath revealing his pleasure. 

“Okay.” Steve said pulling at the button’s of Billy’s shirt and ducking his head to suck and bite at an exposed nipple. Billy twitched a bit and hissed faintly, he put his hands on Steve’s shoulders and pressed him away, firmly, but without ire.

Steve watched with dismay as Billy started buttoning his shirt, sliding back and pulling up his jeans, his hands wiping at the mess they’d made. Steve pulled off his shirt, and used it to wipe at Billy’s stomach and then his own, he could feel himself smiling, he couldn’t help it. 

“You look pleased.” Billy chided. 

“You don’t look displeased.” Steve retorted. 

 

It didn’t take long for Billy to be dressed and heading down the stairs, Steve floated after him, his body pleasantly buzzing. He couldn’t stop smiling. Billy glanced back at him, a crooked smile briefly danced across his face. 

“You don’t need to walk me out, Harrington, I think I can find my car all by myself.”

Steve shrugged in reply. Billy opened the front door and they were confronted with a curtain of heavily falling snow.

  
  


__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


“Shit. Fucking Hawkins, I hate snow.”  Billy popped a cigarette in his mouth and stepped off the porch. He glanced at his watch, he still had time to get home before curfew. Steve was right behind him Billy knew that Steve was going to walk him to his car, Steve couldn’t seem to be able to control his ridiculous chivalrous instincts.  Billy glanced back and was about to tell him to get inside, but decided to keep his mouth shut, he figured the less he said might just be for the better. Steve's big brown eyes were locked onto him and it was getting Billy all charged up again. He looked around taking in the swirling flurries of flakes, winking as they fell in and out of the yellow light cast by the street lamps. The lamps were spread wide between the properties, it made the shadowed spaces seem all the more dark, but it wasn’t eerie, it was relaxing. Billy had never been in snow like this. He had dreamt of being in the snow when he was kid, maybe building snowmen or having snowball fights with friends, but right now he wished it would stop, it was cold and annoying. Billy walked to his car he turned taking a few steps backward looking at Steve. He was lean and lanky, and had this penetrating gaze that just drove Billy crazy. He hated to look away but felt his eyes slide down, he forced himself to look Steve in the eyes before turning back to face his car. He could feel his cheeks flushing. What had just happened made him ache at the slightest recall. The mere smell of baby oil and the taste of Steve’s kisses was making him a little hard even in the freezing snow. He shoved his key in the door and swung the door wide. He sat in the seat, one foot still on the asphalt.

“You’re gonna freeze your nuts off.”

“Nah, I’m used to this weather.” Steve shrugged and smiled.

“Besides you’re the one that’s shivering.” Steve’s tone was gently teasing, Billy wanted to be mad, but he wasn’t. It was kind of cute, Steve wasn’t mocking him, not really, he was just being observant.

“Listen, Pretty Boy…” Billy attempted to menace, but had nothing really to follow that opening with.

“I’m all ears.” Steve leaned into the car, their noses nearly bumping. Billy grinned and turned his face away, trying to hide the smile. He shook his head and exhaled a plume of smoke in Steve’s face making him draw back a bit. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Billy shot him a wink. He put his key in the ignition and turned it. Nothing happened.

“Motherfucker.” Billy growled. He attempted again. He’d forgotten the trouble with the battery earlier that afternoon, he’d been too caught up with the idea of coming to Steve’s house, to bother thinking about the battery and what if it would die again. There was a sensation of hot led in his stomach, he glanced at his watch, he still had 25 minutes to beat curfew.

“You got jumper-cables?” 

“Oh, no. I don’t.” Steve leaned on Billy’s car.

“Of course you don’t.” Billy sat back in his seat. He could ask Steve for a ride home. But then he’d have to explain why he hadn’t driven himself home, where his car was,  then Neil would want to know why he was at the Harrington’s. He barely realized Steve had asked him a question.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Billy looked at Steve’s expression, there was tension at his brow, and the corner of his mouth had pulled in a bit, he had so many  _ tells _ .

“It means you’ve got a nice brand new car, and your dad probably has it tuned up every four months.” Billy took a drag on his cigarette, it wasn’t Steve’s fault he had things so damn soft, but he did and it kind of grated on Billy’s nerves. 

“I think Byers has some. I can call him.” Steve said, his tone flat.

“Yea he does.”

“How do you know?”

“He helped me out today after school.” 

“Oh, well good. C’mon inside. I’ll call and see if he’s up,  _ or _ I can just drop you off tonight and  I could pick you and Max up in the morning, take you guys to school, then we can get your car started tomorrow after school.” Steve’s eyes danced a little as if he was picturing the whole scenario in his mind, a smile was blooming on his lips. 

“Just call Byers.” Billy kind of wondered what it would be like to go to school in Steve’s car, but of course he didn’t really care for the idea of Max being there, or going to school. Maybe just being alone with Steve in his BMW, he liked imagining that. Steve interrupted his daydream.

“Come inside, it’s too cold.”

Billy got out of the car, he shivered a little in the snow, as he turned to walk to the house he felt Steve’s arm slip around his waist.  
“You are cold.” Steve pulled him close, practically in a cuddle.

“I’m fine.” Billy pulled away and took one last drag on his cigarette before chucking it in the pristine snow that was now carpeting the sidewalk. Steve  bound up the porch and opened the door wide for Billy to walk in. Billy glanced at him and walked inside, he yawned and leaned on the wall near a little end table where a phone was next to a notepad and a ridiculous little lamp. Billy observed how everything matched in house. The vodka was wearing off, Billy mused. He watched Steve dial Jonathan’s number.

“You got Byer’s number memorized, shit, you two must be getting cozy.”

“We’re friends.” Steve looked at Billy, his expression revealed nothing, which was unusual for Steve and it made Billy watch him more closely.

“Hello, Mrs Byers, sorry I know it’s late. Sure, yes, I’ll hold, no,  everything’s okay, I just need jumper cables. Okay. Yep.” Steve paced a little. “Hey man, yeah. Sorry if I woke your mom up. Can you swing by with your jumper-cables? No not mine, Hargrove’s. Yeah. Okay. Cool, thanks. Later.” Steve hung up the phone, he looked a bit pleased with himself.

“He’ll be here in 15 minutes.” 

Billy nodded. He puffed out a breath of air. Billy’s mind raced through all the possible scenarios when he got home; Neil might go to bed early, he might fall asleep in front of the TV drinking beer. There was a good chance he wouldn’t notice if Billy was late. Billy could blame the snow, or say he was studying, but it would have to be a girl, he couldn’t say Harrington. He started calculating the time, estimating when Byers would get there, the time it would take to get home. He still had a good chance at beating curfew, but with the snow, he wouldn’t want to do any risky driving, especially not after that little chat with Hopper.

“Hey.” Steve’s hands gently landed on Billy’s shoulders, his wide eyes looking into Billy’s.

“What?” Billy attempted to sound bored.

“He’ll be here.”

“Yeah, I heard you.” Billy rolled his shoulders trying to cue Steve to take his hands off him, but Steve only moved closer.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like,” Billy drew a breath, he couldn’t say; stop looking at me like you’re in love. “Like you’re high.”

“Well, maybe I am feeling, a little high.” Steve frowned comically and shrugged, his expression slipped into a smile his generous lips curling up seductively, Billy swallowed without intending to he watched Steve lean in, his lids lowering, his body resting heavily against Billy’s, now Billy was the one feeling high.

“This isn’t a big deal.” Billy whispered into Steve’s lips. Steve kissed him slowly, his tongue gently tasting, Billy parted his lips and tilted his head, he pressed his hands over Steve’s narrow hips and squeezed his ass pulling him in tight.

“Mmm” Steve moaned into the kiss and Billy could feel himself getting hard. Steve withdrew from the kiss and grabbed Billy’s hand and led him into the living room, Steve sat on the couch and with surprising force pulled Billy half on top of him and half seated on the couch beside him.

“Jonathan’s going,” Was all Billy managed to say before he was distracted by Steve kissing and biting up the side of his neck, he felt a particularly sharp nip. Billy pressed Steve back into the couch.

“Don’t leave any marks.”

“Okay.” Steve’s knee pressed up between Billy’s thighs.

“Fuck you, Harrington.” Billy wanted to sound mad, but however it sounded the only response he got from Steve was a firm kiss and a leg thrown heavily over his hip.

“Maybe, if you keep being so sweet.” Steve said drily. 

Billy couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips, he half sat up and turned his face away and let out a low throaty laugh.

“I like that smile.” Steve said gently and kissed Billy softly under the chin, just near his adam’s apple. 

“Okay, Romeo, you don’t need to lay it on so thick.” Billy sat up a little further, he placed one hand on the backrest of the couch for purchase, his other hand on Steve’s chest attempting to push him off. Steve closed his hand over his. Billy watched Steve lick his lips, his cinnamon colored eyes dancing beneath his fine eyelashes, he could see clearly that Steve was searching for a response, and was coming up short.

“This is just fun, we’re just fucking around.” Billy stated and grabbed Steve’s collar and pulled him into a deep kiss, Billy felt in control for the first time that night, and it was thrilling and terrifying to feel Steve melt against him lost in the kiss. Billy’s hands explored under Steve’s shirt, up his sides, over his ribs, and the soft flesh at his waist, and down over his narrow hips. Billy was aching, and his heart was racing, this was the realist moment of his life since moving to Hawkins, he could feel Steve leaning into him with absolute trust, nothing was held back. Steve was pliant and groaning deeply into the kiss. That was when the doorbell chimed and it sounded like a bomb going off in Billy’s ears. He nearly knocked Steve off the couch. 

“Relax,” Steve chuckled softly he was sliding halfway off the couch after the shove Billy had given him, “it’s just Byers.” Steve stood, he adjusted the crotch of his jeans as he walked to the front door. Billy got up too, he checked his face and neck for any tell tale signs of what they’d been up to. His heart was racing a bit, he exhaled slowly, eyes closed tightly; he hated feeling anxious, and hated how vulnerable and nervous he felt at the thought of being caught with Steve in his arms.

  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


“Hey. It’s coming down. Kind of peaceful.” Jonathan watched the snowflakes crash and dive, he’d smoked a joint on the way over, and he was feeling really good. 

“Hey man, thanks for coming over. “ Steve reached out and patted Jon’s shoulder. Jon could see Billy looking a little jumpy standing about a yard behind Steve, he was fidgeting and looking around  as if he wasn’t supposed to be there.

“No big deal.” Jonathan said thoughtfully, “I know a good place for parts, over in Carterville if you need to replace that battery, it’s a lot of salvaged stuff, but that’s how I keep my car going.” He watched Billy nod stiffly in response. 

“ Let’s get to it.” Billy walked around Steve and headed to his Camaro.

“Are you stoned?” Steve asked.

“Are you jealous?” Jonathan shook his head, it was becoming a thing between them, like they had comedy routine. Neither of them talked about it much, but he could hear the concern starting to grow in Steve’s voice when he asked that questions sometimes. He didn’t know how to tell him it was okay, it kept things under control, it kept the demons away, or at least the Upside-Down things away from the forefront of his mind and let him have longer stretches of peace. 

“Are you two coming?” Billy’s voice was a little strained, even though his tone was dry, Jonathan couldn’t help but notice that the guy that was always tightly wound was more uptight than the last time he’d seen him. 

“Yep.” Steve responded lightly and threw an arm around Jon’s shoulder and walked him to where Billy was waiting. Jonathan glanced at Steve, he seemed happy, for the first time in a long time, Steve was looking alive, like really alive, not just going through the motions.

“You look good.” Jonathan said lightly. In the corner of his eye he saw Billy’s shoulders square up just a bit.

“Ha, thanks.” Steve’s response was without sarcasm, he even seemed a little amused, he smiled at the ground.

“What a night.” Jonathan said, looking up at the sky, he wanted to just stand around and chat but it was beyond clear that Billy had places to go. Jon grabbed the cables off the passenger’s seat and hooked up the batteries, he’d done it hundreds of times before, sometimes to get his mother’s car running, sometimes his own. He’d learned a lot about keeping things running, working, or  _ just-good-enough  _ since Lonnie had left. 

Jonathan watched Billy nearly leap out of the driver’s seat and come round to detach the cables.

“Hey, hold on, you gotta let it run at least another two minutes, the engine’s cold.” Jonathan cautioned, he’d poked his head out of the driver’s side window. Steve was standing in between the two idling cars, all his focus was on Billy, but not like it used to be, something had changed. Billy stopped in his tracks. He paced a bit. He didn’t really say anything to Jon, just nodded and stared at the engine. Billy was still for about ten seconds then moving again.

“She’s fine, she’s got it.” Billy nodded as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, he lit two and handed one to Steve.

“Huh.” Jon squinted at them both from inside his car. Neither of them noticed. He couldn’t hear what they were saying. He thought about getting out of his car and walking over there to join them, shoot the shit, maybe share a the last of his joint, which was basically down to a roach at this point, but somehow the space between them seemed filled. He pressed a cassette in the tape deck, it was one he’d mixed for Nancy, Debbie Harry started singing The Tide is High. It felt like a lazy tropical kind of song, it didn’t quite fit with the weather or the scene in front of him, so he just closed his eyes and thought about the last time it was playing in his car, and he and Nancy were there. He liked the feel of her hair when she leaned in close to him, she’d let him pull gently at the coils of her curls. He pulled up the front of his jacket and inhaled from the collar, she’d been wearing it over her jacket at lunch, she was so tiny, he could swaddle her up in his clothes. He inhaled again more deeply,and there it was, the powdery soft scent of her perfume. Someone slammed the hood of his car, jarring him from his recollections. Steve was jogging round to the passenger door, the cables in hand. Billy walked over to Jon’s window, Jon nodded and rolled it down.

“Thanks.” Billy said.

“No problem.” Jon nodded.

“We should follow him.” Steve said to Jonathan.

“Nah. I’ll make it.” Billy replied.

“We’re going to follow you.” Steve insisted.

“Whatever Harrington, I don’t live in the next county, it’ll be fine.” Jonathan sighed watching them interact, they were acting strange… but better than before, so maybe it wasn’t a bad thing, maybe it was just different; his mind was feeling rather elastic tonight, all stretchy and flowing, he chuckled to himself. Billy was in his car in a blink and headed off towards home. 

“Follow Billy.” Steve said.

“Sure.” Jonathan trailed after the Camaro, he looked over at Steve. Steve’s eyes were bright, he was watching everything on the road, which wasn’t really all that much, but his eyes were dancing, his knee was jumping, he kept fidgeting, sometimes tugging at the collar of his jacket, or messing with the cuffs of his sleeves, or fussing with his hair. 

“Are you feeling okay?” Jonathan squinted at Steve.

“You look like your mom when you make that face.” Steve looked at Jonathan.

“Yeah?” Jonathan pulled down the vanity and made the same expression in the mirror.

“What like this?” He squinted up his eyes.  
“Yeah like that. Are you watching where you’re going?”

“No.” Jonathan laughed, it got Steve going too, “You didn’t answer my question.” Jonathan watched the Camaro take a turn a little fast, given all the heavy snow, but followed easily. He’d been driving in snow since he was fourteen and Hawkins was small, he knew all the turns, pot holes and blind driveways. 

“Yeah, I feel good. You know? Just good, for once.” Steve smiled faintly.

“That’s great.” Jon watched the bouncing tail lights ahead of them.

“And a little worried, but mostly good.” Steve confessed.

“I think everyone is starting to feel that way. You know. Like maybe it really is over, maybe we’re all going to be okay after all.”

“Well, I didn’t say great. Just good you know.” Steve frowned.

“Yeah, we’ll all be okay, but we’ll never be like before.” 

“Man, you are so stoned.” 

“Nancy wants me to stop.” Jonathan thought of her sweet concerned face, and her very serious tone.

“Oh, man.” Steve said in sympathy.

“Yeah.” Jon agreed. 

The snow was still swirling down in thick waves, sometimes a fine wall of white flakes would eat up the scenery before them. Jon watched the heavy Camaro plow ahead of them. He wanted to ask, he could feel the question forming in his mind, what were you doing? Why is he here? Are you guys friends now? Did you parents make you hang out after the weird business dinner? Jon shook his head and side eyed Steve, unable to decide if should ask questions or not.

“I didn’t know he lived over here.” Steve was looking out the window watching Billy slow and turn into a driveway. Jonathan pulled over on the side of the road. The Ford  was practically obscured by a snow covered hedge and the lack of lamps on the street. Up the driveway Billy was getting out of his car. The porch light came on and the figure of a man appeared on the steps. He had his hands out and was yelling. Jon rolled down his window trying to hear. Steve practically crawled over him.

“What the hell is going on?” Steve mumbled.

Jonathan didn’t reply. He kept his eyes on what he assumed was Billy’s father. The man pointed at his watch, and then shoved Billy hard in the chest. 

“What the fuck?” Steve uttered in quiet shock.

“Is that his dad?” Jonathan could barely ask the question, the muscles in his jaw had tensed up so much. 

“Yeah.”

Billy’s back was to his car, his arms were down at his sides. His father was yelling and poking him in the chest repeatedly. 

“What an asshole.” Steve sounded anxious, “Do you think we should call Hop?”

“What’s he going to do? By the time we get to a phone all of this will be over, and it’s not like you can arrest someone for being a shitty father.” Jonathan replied. Jon looked at Steve, his expression pensive and sad. Jon looked back out the window just in time to see  Billy’s father deliver a backhand that was loud enough to hear all the way at the bottom of the driveway and across the street, the slap was followed by a punch in the gut. Billy was folded over, and staggered a bit to right, one palm against the car. Jonathan was out of his car in blink. He felt his tennis shoes sink and slide in the heavy snow, could see Mr Hargrove’s furious red face turn and look at him in astonishment as he raced up the driveway. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear Steve right behind him, Billy looked up, his face pale, his nose dripping scarlet, his eyes a little unfocused as he gasped after having the wind knocked out of him. The next thing Jon knew his fist was in the side of Neil’s face.

 

_______________________________________________________________________

 

“Oh-fuck- fuck-fuck!” Steve uttered, he’d been in a fight with Jonathan  before, and that kid could throw a punch. He watched Neil stagger back. Steve got down and wrapped an arm around Billy’s waste and pulled him on his feet. 

“Get out of here!” Billy gasped, but Steve ignored him and just focused on getting Billy on his feet. 

“You punch your kid, you a big man?” Jonathan was practically frothing at the mouth. Steve pulled Billy back and further away from the pair of them.

“You’re dead.” Neil’s eyes were locked on Billy.

“I’m talking to you asshole, look at me!” Jonathan shoved Neil back so hard that he took a step back and landed on his ass on the bottom step of the porch.

“Jon!” Steve could feel Billy catching his breath, he wanted to leave, all of them to get the hell out of there. Neil was up fast and he grabbed Jon’s jacket and threw him on the ground, Steve could feel Billy pulling free, Jon bounced up and threw a punch, it landed home in Neil Hargrove’s left eye with a sickening sound. Susan Hargrove appeared on the porch her eyes wide like a startled deer.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Susan’s voice was high and pleading, she didn’t leave the door frame. Steve caught hold of Billy’s jacket and pulled at him, but Billy pulled free. He got between Neil and Jonathan, his back to Neil.

“Get out of here!” Billy’s voice was a raw roar.

“Who the hell is he?” Neil sounded drunk, Steve didn’t know if it was from the blow, or if he was really drunk.

“We’re leaving.” Steve said loudly, his voice sounded loud and alien in his own head, he was trying to sound calm, but felt far from it.

“Steve  _ Harrington _ , you?” Neil looked at him, his eyes bugged.

“They’re leaving, they’re leaving right now.” Billy sounded more grounded, but looked miserable, an expression washed over his face that Steve had never seen on him.

“Get your faggot ass in the house.” Neil commanded. Pulling Billy aside and then shoving him towards the steps. 

“You’re a piece of shit.” Jonathan spat on Neil’s face. 

In a flash they were both on the ground, throwing punches and tearing at each other’s jackets. Susan stood frozen in the door frame. Steve moved forward trying to pull Jonathan out of the fray. He felt Billy pulling at him. It was a melee of elbows and fists. Snow and slush was being kicked around. Steve had no idea how much time had passed but suddenly the sound of sirens and blue and red lights came up the driveway, he looked away for just a second and that’s when Neil landed a punch. Steve reeled back, thinking he hadn’t been fighting, but now he was. He released Jon’s shoulder and launched himself at Neil, trying to wrestle him into a submissive hold. 

“Break it up! NOW, Harrington, Hargrove, Byers!!” Hopper’s voice boomed. Max had run outside her eyes wide with anxiety. 

“Mr Hargrove, I won’t ask again.” Hopper moved forward, he saw Steve release Neil only to get an elbow in the rib.

“This is how you keep the peace around here?” Neil slurred as he got on his feet. Billy was standing apart, his fists clenched. Jonathan stood with his palms down, his fingers were shaking with adrenaline. Steve looked at Billy.

“Are you okay?” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted it, Steve wiped at his eyes, trying to clear mud and sludge from his face. Billy fixed him with a cold glare. 

“Boys, get in the back. Mrs Hargrove, you better take Max inside while we sort this out.”

“I don’t want to go inside.” Max said, her voice quaking with emotion.

“GET INSIDE THE GODDAMNED HOUSE.” Neil commanded.

“Easy, easy.” Hopper’s temper was being tested, Steve could see it in the set of his gaze. 

“He was beating on Billy.” Jonathan accused, his voice soft but defiant, his eyes locked on Neil.

“Get in the Truck.” Hopper said slowly and calmly.

“He’s my son.” Neil justified, shaking his head, as if he were bearing a burden beyond reckoning, “He runs wild if you give him an inch.” He practically chuckled. Steve stepped forward, but Hopper shifted his large frame just an inch or two in his path.

“Billy, go sit in the Blazer, the three of you now, I won’t ask again.” Hopper sounded exhausted but there was a small ember of controlled fury that both Jonathan and Steve recognized. Billy walked to the truck, Jonathan and Steve followed. They piled in the back seat. Billy leaned against the window, sniffling up blood and touching his nose.

“What the fuck is wrong with you Byers?” Billy asked his voice quiet.

“He was trying to help.” Steve interjected.

“Nothing’s wrong with me.” Jonathan said softly. Billy shook his head, he pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes and lit up in the back of the police truck.

“Fuck.” Billy said.

Jonathan and Steve looked at him and followed his gaze, Hopper was cuffing Neil. Neil was rambling about suing him and swearing up a storm, it was a drunken diatribe against Hopper, the law and ungrateful sons. Neil sat down heavily on the porch, Susan came out with a blanket and draped it over his shoulders, shrouding him like a refugee, in need of protection. Hopper walked over and opened the driver side door. 

“You smoking in my truck Hargrove?” Hopper looked at Billy, he reached over taking the cigarette and started smoking it. He used the radio to call the station, it was Callahan on the other end, Steve recognized his voice. He sounded like Hopper had woken him up. Another police vehicle was being sent out to collect Neil. Hopper walked back up the driveway and was speaking with Mrs Hargrove, his head tilted low, she was crying and nodding, her hands clenched at the neck of her bathrobe. 

Billy gnawed on the inside of his jaw. Steve wanted to touch him, to take his hand, or squeeze his shoulder, but Jonathan was between them.

“Why does it smell like baby oil in here?” Jonathan sniffed and looked perplexed. Steve felt his face blushing and was thankful it was night time. Billy just grunted in response to the question. Hopper got in the truck. He glanced in the rearview mirror at the trio. 

“It’s going to be a long night, we’ll get to the station, we’ll get some ice on those bruises, and then we’re all going to have a talk, as for the ride there, I don’t want to hear a peep out of any of you.” 

 

None of them said a word on the drive. Steve kept stealing glances at Billy, but his face was turned to the window, his breath fogging the glass. Jonathan put his head back and closed his eyes. Steve realized that Jon had fallen asleep. He furrowed his brow in disbelief.  Every bump in the road made Steve’s headache. It was cold in the truck, even with the heat on and the four occupants. Steve drew a breath to speak, he wanted to say something, anything to Billy. But as soon as he was about to the radio crackled to life with a series of beeps. Hopper’s head tilted just a hair, he was listening intently. His eyes landed on Steve’s face, his expression was calm, he nodded a fraction and turned his focus back on the snow laden roads ahead. 

 

When Hopper parked at the station Steve reached across and squeezed Billy’s forearm, only for Billy to whip his arm free. He got out of the truck without looking at Steve. Jonathan sleepily slid out.  
“Hey Hop, my mom’s got work in the morning, and I’m supposed to take Will to school.”

“Get inside Jonathan.” Hopper said gently. The quartet walked into the Hawkins Police Station, all of them wishing they were elsewhere. 

  
  


__________________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


“He’s not talking to me, well it’s more than that. He’s ignoring me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. He hates me.”

“Man, what happened that night? I mean before we got to the Hargrove’s place. ”

“We hung out, we drank… and it just felt like, I don’t know… we could be friends, or something…”

“Friends.” Jon nodded, and took a long drag from the narrow joint they’d been sharing. Steve watched, his head was already feeling fuzzy, thoughts and things he’d actually said weren’t terribly easy to distinguish from one another.

“I thought you told Nancy you stopped.” Steve’s eyes were bright and teary. They were parked in his BMW with a view of the quarry. It had been snowing off and on for the last two weeks. 

“I told her I’d cut back. I have.” Jon exhaled a fat cloud into the already smokey car.

“She worries about you.”

“I worry about her.” Jon confessed.

“She’s really tough,” Steve nodded taking the joint in his fingers. “How’s Will doing?”

“Really good, he doesn’t like all the attention he gets from everyone, he wants to be treated like normal, you know? I think my mom’s the most messed up after all that stuff. She was considering getting me a pager? Like I’m a brain surgeon or something. Man, we can’t afford that, we can’t afford anything.” Jon squinted at the grey sky.

Steve looked out the window too, seeing the sky and the slate colored world outside, it seemed desolate and dangerous. Sometimes smoking made him paranoid, he took a drag and handed it back.

“That’s enough for me.” Steve mumbled as he took a sip of his beer.

“I just want it to be over, and I know it’s over, but it’s not over, it’s like it’ll never be over, I can’t protect…” Jon stopped. He just shook his head.

“We all feel that way.” Steve nodded.

“Sometimes it’s like nothing’s fun anymore.”

“I don’t know man, the kids, they’re doing good, they’re having fun, or at least they still do their D&D and stuff.”

“I feel bad about planning on leaving.”

“You mean NYU?” 

“Yep.”

“You got in?”

“I don’t know yet, but if I do I’m going.”

“You gotta go. There’s nothing here.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“No, I mean, I know, I don’t mean your family, and all that… I mean Nancy’s going to college too,  for sure. She’s so smart.” Steve melted back in his seat, everyone was going somewhere, he was going nowhere. He wondered what Billy’s plans were. Where he was, if he was with one of the girls from school, or one of they guys, the thought of BIlly hooking up with one of the guys was even more aggravating than the idea of him getting together with a half dozen of the girls. Steve wondered if Hopper had been keeping tabs on Neil.

“Hopper won’t tell me anything.”

“What?” Jon’s voice was low and raspy, he was holding smoke in his lungs.

“Hopper won’t tell me about the Hargroves.”

“I don’t think he can, it’s private.”

“Billy’s dad, I think he’s crazy or something.”

“Nah, he’s just an asshole, like my dad.”

“Is that why you went ballistic?”

“I guess. Yeah.”

“Has Billy spoken to you?” Steve turned looking at Jonathan, sometimes he could still be weirdly mysterious.

“You’re obsessed.” Jon finished the last of his beer and dropped the tiny singed roach into the bottom of the can. He didn’t want to tell Steve about things being okay between Billy and himself, they hadn’t talked about that night, but they were civil, an occasional nod, in the hallways, saying a simple ‘hey’ when they crossed paths at the arcade, picking up their siblings.

“What, no, I just, you know I feel kind of responsible.” Steve had taken a long time to respond, his mind was cottony from the pot.

“Okay, but you’re like, obsessed, too.”

“You’re stoned.”

“Yep, and you’re obsessed with Billy ‘fuckin’’ Hargrove.”

“No I’m not. It’s just that it’s been two weeks and nothing.”

“So go by the arcade tomorrow night.”

“I don’t want to play video games, Jesus, why do you think I’d want to play video games?”

Jon just laughed and shook his head.

“No, I pick up Will and the rest of the guys on Friday nights, usually Billy’s getting Max around the same time.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. It’s too cold for the guys to bike, and the snow’s too dense anyways, and my mom’s you know, still really paranoid, so Me and Nancy pick ‘em up on Fridays.”

“So you know, just show up. Say hi.”

“What if he’s mad?”

“Obsessed.” Jon laughed again.

“Shut up.”

“Do you want me to take his picture?”

“N-no.” Steve tilted his beer back and drained the can.

Jonathan laughed even harder, twisting his body, folding in on himself, it was contagious, and Steve started too. 

“Shut up man, it’s just, we should be friends, that’s all, I don’t know. I know he’s kind of a hard ass or whatever, but we should be friends, we could be friends, if the things, the monsters had never come along, you know, like in a Twilight Zone world, where none of that shit had gone down…”

“You’d be best friends with a psychopath?”

“Yeah, no, not, he’s… oh my god I’m stoned.”

“Well, in this reality, we’re friends, and that’s crazy.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s kind of great.” Steve smiled at Jonathan and punched him playfully in the shoulder, eliciting a wide smile from his friend.

  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Billy got to the arcade, 15 minutes early. He parked beneath Palace arcade sign and lowered the window a couple inches and lit up a cigarette. He took a slow drag, his ribs ached. He winced as he exhaled. He cut the engine and enjoyed the silence of his car. Normally he’d be blasting something, but right now he just wanted quiet, not to think, but just to breathe. He peered out the window watching the doors of the Palace, Max was never early, but she was always on time these days. He imagined it was a kind of guilt reflex after everything going to shit. A long lean figure was approaching his car, it was Harington. His dark hair looked black, his face pale and determined. Billy considered rolling up the window. 

“Hey.” Steve stood outside the door with his arms folded, a weak smile on his perfect lips. Billy looked at him, his face composed in an expression of tolerant boredom, he said nothing, and waited for Steve to turn away.

“It’s been a while.” Steve continued. 

Billy took a drag on his smoke and kept staring, it was a lot like squeezing a bruise, he could see Steve’ composure starting to fail.

“How have you been?” Steve showed no signs of retreating.

“I’ve been busy.” Billy regretted answering, but Steve had fixed him with those saucer eyes of his.

“Yeah?” Steve looked hopeful.

Billy shrugged at him and looked away, he wanted Harrington to fuck off, and at the same time wanted him to get in the car and sit with him, he wasn’t even sure what he wanted beyond that, but it was start.

“You here for Max?” Steve persisted.

“Nah, I just like hanging out in parking lots and freezing my balls off for kicks on a Friday night.”

“Ha. Funny.” Steve replied, he looked around the lot, and then walked away, or so Billy thought. Steve had gone around the back of the car and popped up on the passenger side and let himself in. 

“Is that a little tit-for-tat? I will throw you the fuck out of my car, Harrington.” 

“I believe you.”

“So get out. Now.” Billy couldn’t believe what he was saying, Steve had just done exactly what Billy was wishing would happen, but things could not be this way. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry about what went down,” Steve, turned his body, facing Billy in the seat, “I’ve been worried about you.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Billy opened his door and went around to the passenger side, in a few quick strides and he opened the door and grabbed the shoulder of Steve’s jacket and pulled him out on his feet.

“Get lost, Harrington.” He shoved Steve back a step but Steve turned his shoulder, rolling with the pressure of the shove and wrapped an arm around Billy’s waist, he he hooked a leg around Billy’s and pulled him into him as he leaned back against the Camaro, and planted a kiss on the blonde’s lips. Billy returned the kiss, let himself rest heavily against Steve, he even enfolded him in his arms. Steve parted his lips and Billy’s tongue delved in hotly. Just a quickly as it started Billy remembered where they were. He let go of Steve and stepped back. He’d dropped his cigarette in the snow when he’d gotten out of the car and wished he hadn’t, he wanted something to do with his hands, something to distract him from the burning sensation and hunger on his lips.

“Plant your feet.” Steve said softly.

“Nice move.” Billy granted.

“I’m a ninja.” Steve offered.

The door of the arcade swung open and there was Max and Lucas, followed by Dustin, Mike, Will and Jane.

“Times’ up.” Billy said and he got back in the Camaro, and started it up, gunning the engine, much to Max’s annoyance. Steve watched her approaching her hand clasped in Lucas’s. Steve waved and started walking towards his car.

“Hey, Steve!” Dustin waved and bounced towards him excitedly.

“Hey, Dustin.’ Steve looked over his shoulder, stealing a last look at Billy.

“What are you doing here? I almost hit Max’s high score, I just needed 3,000 more points, man I was so close, did you see The Keep? Oh man it’s so scary.”

“What’s that?”

“The Keep, it’s a movie, what planet do you live on?”

“Oh, I’ve not been to the movies in a while.” 

“It was alright, it wasn’t that scary.” Lucas chimed in.

“C’mon you guys, lets go.” Mike and Jane walked passed.

“Hi Steve.” Jane said softly.

“Hey El.” Steve smiled.

“Are  _ you _ coming over?” Mike didn’t sound excited at the prospect.

“No.” Steve shook his head, wondering how he’d gotten caught up in this wave of noise when all he’d wanted was to talk to Billy.

“Why not? We’re going to start a campaign tonight.” Dustin smiled broadly.

“He’s not in the party.” Mike complained.

“Yeah, well he could be.” Dustin retorted.

“ He needs to build a character from scratch.” Will sounded excited by the thought of it.

A light double beep announced the arrival of Jon and Nancy, they rolled up and the group surged forward, piling in the back seat. “Hey, are you hanging out at the arcade now?” Nancy rolled down her window, Jon leaned forward and nodded a silent hello.

“Nah, just…” Steve trailed off seeing Hopper’s Bronco pulling up.

“What’s he doing here, I thought you were coming over?” Mike looked at Jane.

“I told you he said I couldn’t.” Jane shrugged.

“Oh, maybe we can start the campaign tomorrow.” Mike turned to Lucas and Dustin and Will.

“That’s a good idea, then Max can start at the beginning too.” Will offered.

“That’s what I was saying before!” Lucas threw his arms up.

“Yeah, well goodnight everyone.” Steve waved and extricated himself from the group, he kept his head down as he walked away, he didn’t want to see anyone else he knew. He’d only come to see Billy, and worried Jon was going to start telling him he was obsessed again, it only bugged him because, it was probably true. Steve had been hoping to avoid seeing anyone else when he got to the arcade parking lot, but then again, he was in Party territory.

  
  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Billy was at the library, it was on his list of approved places he could go. Neil had a ton new rules, Billy was accustomed to this, Neil would get mad and become more physical and more controlling and then he’d relax, over a few weeks, then something would go bad, or Billy would say something wrong and Neil would turn into more of jailor than a father, not that he was much of a father. Now this little incident had been on a new level of bad, the last time things had been this bad was when his mother had died, but Billy didn’t want to think about that, he knew he needed to just focus on following the rules and all this would pass and slowly get something like normal, until the next thing went sideways. The only real problem was the rules kept changing. Billy had managed to keep “in line” for the most part. Although he’d gotten thrown against the kitchen counter a week ago, and his ribs still smarted. Susan was quieter than normal, Max seemed to spend as much time out of the house as possible, but Neil didn’t seem to care too much about that.

Billy turned the two books he’d pulled off the shelves in front of him on the polished wooden table. He wasn’t sure if he could focus enough to read, but it was better than sitting around and thinking… which was all he could do, all the time. He couldn’t shut off his brain. It didn’t matter how loud the stereo was, or how hard he played sports, he how much he worked out. His brain was just on fire.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Carol and Vicki with stacks of fashion and sewing books in their arms. They were headed to the main desk to check out. They hadn’t seen him and he was glad.  The Valentine’s Day dance was a week away, Billy had been considering who to ask three weeks ago, before the driveway brawl. Now he wasn’t allowed to go on dates, so that wasn’t something he needed to worry about. He’d said very loudly at the lunch tables that he wasn’t going to the dance, and watched Vicki visible slump in her seat. Tommy had said it was stupid, and Carol’s nose crinkled as she frowned at him, looking like she’d smelled a burning skunk on a hot summer’s day.  

Once Billy was certain that Carol and Vicki were gone he opened the book of poetry.  It was an old book, the dust jacket, if there had ever been one, was long gone, the corners of the book were looking a little frayed, he remembered a similar book that his mother had often flipped through while sitting in the sand watching him build and destroy sand castles, and often times reading him a few lines, it all seemed like nonsense at the time and what he was really waiting for was for her to put down the book and chase him into the surf, which, to his enormous pleasure, she always did. He could still taste the salt spray, feel the grains of sand in his toes, smell the heavy scent of sunscreen. For a moment he was there again, safe with his mother. He opened his eyes only to be back in Hawkins, hiding in a little dingy library, wishing he could be with someone, someone that made him feel safe, made him feel wanted. Billy’s eyes refocused on the book, the last check out date had been January of 1982.

“Fuckin’ bumpkins.” Billy griped. 

He flipped open the book and read the index. He wasn’t even sure how much he liked poetry, sure some of it was kind of cool, but a lot of it was just lame. He’d checked for any Bukowski, and of course there wasn’t any. Someone pulled out a chair next to him and sat down heavily, he stared at the page wondering why the hell someone just had to sit right next to him in a nearly empty library. He looked over with a hard glare and was about to put the fear of god into a soul, when his eyes met Steve’s.

“What are you reading?” Steve whispered, he rested his chin a hand and leaned on the table, his eyes dropping to the book. Billy snapped it shut and put on the table with the other book he’d selected.

“It’s called a book, Harrington. They’re full of words.” Billy sighed into his chest. He rested his hands on the table edge and was about to push away when he felt Steve’s hand rest on his thigh.

“I wanted to talk to you.”  
“About what?”

“I don’t know.” Steve’s dark eyes gazed into Billy’s.

“There’s nothing to say.” Billy shook his head.

“You should come over.”

“I can’t, I can’t do jack-shit since you and Byers decided to follow me home.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be, it’s your fault.”

“If there’s anyone to blame it’s you dad.” Steve’s voice was so calm it made Billy want to scream.

“I’ll be sure to pass on the message, man, as soon as he hears that, things are gonna change for the better.” Billy sniped.

“C’mon, Hargrove.”

“ _ SHHH _ .” The library shushed them from behind her desk, an elderly man was at the counter unloading his arms of several books.

“Yeah. Stimulating conversation. See you later.”

“We didn’t get to finish.” Steve blurted.

“ _ Please _ be quiet.” The librarian leaned forward over her desk to make sure they heard her loud and clear.

“Finish what?” Billy sat back, he didn’t really want to go. Steve’s hand on his thigh had tightened a bit, and had moved up just a fraction when Billy had started to get up again. Steve leaned in, his breath puffed a curl near Billy’s ear.

“I only got one kiss in the parking lot and that was a week ago.” Steve whispered in a low confident voice that made Billy hold perfectly still. It was the most amazing thing he’d felt since the kiss under the sign of the Palace. 

“It’s a little public there.” Billy whispered, his eyelids were feeling heavy, although he felt far from sleepy.

“I know, but you keep avoiding me.” Steve’s hand started to slide up Billy’s thigh.

“I told you, I’ve been busy.” Billy felt Steve’s hand cup over his cock, his palm pressing down and his long fingers squeezing up. Billy closed his eyes and felt himself both melting and burning under his touch. He spread his knees wider and shifted forward on the edge of his seat. His cock twitched to life in his jeans under Steve’s attention.

“I thought we were good, you know. Together. At my house.” Steve whispered, the tip of his nose brushing Billy’s lobe, the tip of his tongue lighting on skin just beneath it.

“Mmgh.” Was all Billy could manage to reply.

“I want to kiss you again.” Steve whispered, his hand rubbing and grasping. Billy gripped the edge of the table.

The front doors opened and several students from school poured in. Billy side eyed Steve, but didn’t move. Steve glanced over his shoulder at the flock of kids that had blown in from the cold. Most of them were younger, freshmen and sophomores.

“I liked it.” Billy confessed.

“Come over tonight.” Steve’s confidence was ebbing from his voice. Billy knew he couldn’t go over, and figured Steve might be aware of that fact to. How could he not know? Neil was on Hopper’s shit list, and there was the threat of monthly visits from Social Workers if things didn’t check out when Hopper stopped by. Billy felt himself tensing. It wasn’t really Steve’s fault, or even Jon’s, Neil had gotten caught slapping him around, something he’d wished for since he was a little kid, that someone would see it, make him stop and that’s what Hopper was doing, or at least trying to do,  but it wasn’t going the way Billy had imagined when he was small. No one was going to swoop in and save him. 

“Pretty Boy, you live on another planet.” Billy looked at Steve and wanted to kiss him, wanted to wrestle him to the ground and strip his clothes off and do everything to him. 

“What do you mean?” Steve looked genuinely curious, as if Billy explaining all this to him would somehow make things better.

Billy got up abruptly, his cock straining in his jeans, and grabbed his book bag, using it to shield his erection. Steve got up too following him. Billy walked up to the desk where the annoyed librarian was all too happy to help him check out some books anticipating his exit.

Billy wasn’t even sure what the librarian had said to him when she handed him the books, probably when they were due back, he shoved them in his satchel and nearly shouldered Steve out of his way. He told himself he wasn’t running. They couldn’t fuck around like that. Harrington had to be nuts if he didn’t think anyone would notice. Billy walked through the slush and ice, the sidewalk was mostly shoveled but his boots slipped a bit as he walked, he had no traction. It was getting dark already, the winter days were short. He still didn’t need to be home for another hour, but he couldn’t stay here with Steve, and his cock was aching. 

“Hey, hey.” Steve touched Billy’s arm, not grabbing him, but trying to slow him. Billy turned towards Steve and got in his face.

“What?” Billy nearly barked the question. 

“Just slow down.”

“Why?” Billy looked at Steve and around the the grounds of the library, it was too cold for people to be loitering out of doors, but that didn’t mean it was safe for whatever was happening between them to be seen.

“Because I like you.”

“What? Are you stupid?” Billy could feel himself blushing, he also could see that what he’d said had stung Steve.

“Maybe.” Steve mumbled almost apologetically.

“You don’t like me,” Billy dug out his keys from his pocket and jammed them in the car door, “You don’t even know me. Asshole.” He flung his satchel in the passenger seat. He could feel a cold rage boiling in his stomach. He turned and faced Steve. Billy felt Steve’s hands firmly grab on to his hips and pull him forward, if there was something that came at a bit of shock to Billy it was how good Steve was at getting in close and taking control. Billy barely had a chance to grab Steve’s collar and then they were kissing. Billy pulled away quickly.

“You’re crazy.” He breathed.

“There’s no one out here.” Steve leaned into Billy, his right knee pressed up between Billy’s thigh, a slow warm pressure, Billy was already hard and this wasn’t helping at all. Steve’s eyes were large and looked like warm honey.

“Get in the car.” Billy pushed Steve away and got in the driver’s seat. His heart was racing. He shut the door and watched Steve go around the nose of the car and let himself in on the passenger side.

“Don’t get all, fuckin’ weird about this.” Billy warned.

“I won’t.” Steve said as he leaned over and kissed him hungrily. Steve’s kisses were eager and intense, his hand slid down the side of Billy’s neck and over his jacket. Billy let out a low moan, he couldn’t take much more of this. That was when he felt Steve go for his belt buckle, Billy lifted his hips in anticipation. Steve didn’t waste any time, he pressed his hand squeezed, his skin felt cool but not cold, Billy heard a sound come out of the back of his throat that he’d never made before. The windows were steaming up steadily, it was starting to snow again, he could see the flakes coming down swiftly. Steve squeezed and stroked.

“Ugh, god damnit.” Billy shifted uneasily, it wasn’t going to take much. Steve leaned over and kissed Billy again. Steve’s mouth was and tasted faintly of spearmint gum. Billy pressed his palm over the front of Steve’s throat, he rolled his thumb over his adam’s apple, he’d wanted to do that for as long as he could remember, Steve was so beautiful and sensual, it was almost painful to Billy. Steve pulled away, Billy let his hand fall off the front of his neck, he wondered if he’d freaked him out, or Steve had changed his mind about jerking him off. That’s when Steve scooted back and half kneeled in the footwell of the passenger seat, his tongue darted over the head of Billy’s cock.  Billy slid his fingers into Steve’s hair. Steve was tonguing him and giving little sucking kisses to tip. Billy tilted his head back and closed his eyes, he tried to slow his breathing, he was panting. Steve drew him in and worked him in his mouth, taking him deep and then pulling back, nearly releasing him only to draw him in again.

“Ah, fuuuck,” Billy groaned, “Mmm, Steve. Fuck.” He shifted his hips. Billy tried to hold off, but he came in Steve’s mouth, he was too far gone to give any warning. It just happened. Steve paused, his eyes flicking up to Billy’s their eyes locking for a second, Billy thought he could die now and be okay with it. Steve lowered his gaze and gently sucked at Billy, making Billy shudder with pleasure. Steve sat back and wiped his mouth with back of his hand. His lips were swollen, his eyes a little glassy. Billy couldn’t help but stare, etching everything about that moment into his memory. Steve slid back up into the seat. They both sat in silence. Billy closed his eyes for a second, he needed to go home, he needed Steve to get out of his car, but what he needed was so far from what he wanted that it made his heart ache. Steve kissed him gently, when Billy opened his eyes Steve was crawling in his lap.

“It’s getting late.” Billy warned.

“Just five more minutes.” Steve kissed Billy up the side of his neck. He felt Steve straddle his lap and pull open the front of Billy’s jacket, Billy let him, he’d let him do just about anything, he admitted to himself. He watched as Steve licked his own palm, his mouth shining with saliva, it was mesmerizing. Steve lowered his eyes and started stroking himself. Billy wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist pulling him taut against his exposed belly. He could feel Steve’s cock start to rub and thrust against his stomach.

Billy pressed his hand slowly over Steve’s throat, he could feel him swallow, feel his pulse flutter under Billy’s thumb. Steve leaned in and kissed him, deeply as he rutted against Billy’s stomach. Billy nipped at Steve’s jaw and got a soft moan in reward. 

“Do you like that, pretty boy?” Billy could hear his voice tremor, and hoped that Steve didn’t notice. 

“Yeah.”

Billy bit again, a little harder, and followed it with a sucking kiss. Steve whined in the back of his throat and planted his lips on Billy’s. Billy pulled away and squeezed Steve throat lightly, he turned his head and bit the side of Steve’s neck, his teeth pinching the skin tightly.

“Ah, uh… oh, shit.” Steve rolled his hips in pleasure, he started rocking steadily. Billy nipped at him, and nuzzled, enjoying every single twitch and moan that came out of Steve.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?” Billy whispered the words, he’d never spoken to anyone like that, he’d never wanted to.

Steve kissed Billy, his long fingers tangled in his hair, he pulled gently and rolled and snapped his hips, spilling hotly over him. Steve rested his temple against Billy’s, their lips parting wetly, his eyelashes tickled the bridge of Billy’s nose.

“I want to see you.’

“Don’t get weird.” Billy could barely speak, he kept wondering what Steve meant, by saying he wanted to see him.

“I’m not being weird.” Steve kissed him again, slowly this time, his fingertips brushing Billy’s jaw and throat.

“I guess you can’t help it.” Billy said flatly, he’d meant it to be funny, but even in his ears it sounded a little cruel.

“It’s not weird for me to like you, or stupid. Maybe foolish. That’s not the same as being stupid or weird though.” Steve sighed, he shifted back a little.

Billy looked at Steve’s face, his chin was tilted down and away, his brow lightly knitted.

“I’ve gotta,” Billy started.

“Go. Yeah, I know. I’m going.” Steve shifted back into the passenger seat rearranging his clothes.

Billy watched Steve buckle his belt, Steve was avoiding looking at him.

“Later.” Steve said, he got out of the car and slammed the door shut. 

  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Steve had been to the library after school everyday for the past week. Some days he hoped he would run into Billy, other days he’d hope he wouldn’t. He’d look up every time someone walked in. He’d even gone by the Palace to see if Billy was there to pick up Max, but as it would turn out Max hadn’t gone last that night. So Steve had gotten wrangled into going out for pizza with everyone, which of course he volunteered to pay for. It hadn’t been terrible but Jonathan kept looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and something bordering on pity, which of course made Nance ask what was going on. Steve was lucky the whole Party was there to distract her. He dodged her questioning looks by getting up to order a second pizza once and second time when he decided everyone should have a rootbeer float so he had to go back to the counter and couldn’t possibly wait for a waiter to cruise by. It was Will, of all people who got to him. They were all saying good night, and Will walked right up to Steve and said, “Why are you so sad, did something bad happen?” 

Steve had practically sputtered, he shot a look at Jonathan but Jon was busy canoodling with Nancy by the door. 

“No, I’m not sad, I’m just you know. It’s been a long day.” Will had nodded and patted his back sympathetically. 

“Well it was really nice of you to get us all pizza and stuff.” Steve had mumbled, “Don’t worry about it.” Only for Will the ever vigilant and insightful to say, 

“You look like you miss someone real bad, like when my mom talks about Bob. She told me once that sometimes when she’s in town she thinks she sees him, but don’t tell anyone that, she told me in secret, so I’m telling you in secret, too.”

“Okay, a double secret. I won’t tell anyone, and I’m okay Will. I promise.”

“Okay, but if you were really in the Party, like officially, you’d have to swear that was true, because it’s our main rule, ‘Friends don’t lie.’” Will had fixed him with a long thoughtful look.

“That’s a good rule to have.” Steve had held the door open for Will and the rest of the kids, he felt ridiculous, evading Will’s question, the kid was on to him, maybe he didn’t know the who, or the why but still, it made Steve feel transparent. 

Now sitting in the library waiting for Bily to breeze in was really starting to feel pathetic. Steve tried to think of all the reasons he shouldn’t like Billy, like the fact that he could be a bully, he was rude, but the things he did like about Billy were there too, he was smart, he liked Steve, maybe he didn’t say it, maybe he hardly showed it, but Steve cold tell. He sat there trying to imagine himself talking to a stranger, and realized Nancy was telling him the reasons she liked Billy (not that she did or ever would) he’d tell her she was nuts, that Billy was a sociopath, with a fucked up family, who bullied everyone and was a cocky sonofabitch… maybe he was smart, and good looking, but that wasn’t enough. 

“The heart wants what it wants or else it does not care!” Steve announced to the library and slapped his hand on the table, a few heads turned. Someone giggled. He’d not meant to say it out loud. Steve threw his backpack over his shoulder and left the library, with no sign of Billy and absolutely zero studying accomplished, not that he’d really imagined he’ study.

 

_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


Wednesday afternoon and Steve got to the locker rooms before anyone else. He changed quickly and went out to the court. He grabbed a ball and started dribbling and drilling moves up and down the court, he was getting warmed up with the intentions of owning the game.

“You should practice, Steve, you’re getting soft.” Tommy came onto the court, his smile wide. He’d healed up from his encounter with Steve’s fist, and looked like he might be in the mood for another round.

“As Carol if  _ she _ thinks I’m getting soft.” Steve retorted in a casual tone as he shot the ball into the hoop from across the court, the swoosh of the net mixing with a few oohs, and other other noises from the boys that had heard the exchange.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Tommy walked right up to Steve.

“It means shut up, Tommy.” Steve and Tommy were nose to nose. Steve hadn’t been planning to get into it with his ex-best friend, but if that’s what it was going to come down to at least he was ready this time.

“Carol would never touch trash like you!” Tommy’s face was red, his voice trembled. Steve was genuinely surprised he’d hit a nerve. Tommy shoved Steve hard in the chest but Steve had been ready, his feet planted.

SKREEEEETEEETEEEET! 

The shrill whistle announced the presence of the coach and the crowd that had been moving in cheer on a fight slowly moved back, or became busy tying shoe laces and stretching. 

“You two, cool off!” Coach Banks came over and stood between them, he looked haggard and smelled faintly of beer and sweat.

“No big deal, coach.” Steve took a step back, his palms lifted to chest level in surrender. Tommy looked blood thirsty but just stormed off the to other side of the court.

The game got started, Steve and Tommy were on opposing teams and Steve kept an eye on him, Tommy was playing badly and fighting for the ball with his own teammates. Steve wondered why he’d gotten such a rise out of him. 

Billy walked into gym 15 minutes late and handed a note to the coach. Steve watched as the coach pointed at the bleachers and Billy walked over, he was moving slowly, head down, shoulders a little high and tight as he sat down. Billy had none of his normal swagger, he looked like he was in pain. Steve kept stealing glances as he played up and down the court. His team was winning, and when he paid attention Steve was playing really well, but Billy wasn’t noticing, so it felt more meaningless than normal. Everytime Steve looked at Billy he had his eyes his textbook, at one point he leaned over to get something out of his tan messenger bag and a brief flash of pain crossed his face as he sat up again slowly. As soon as the game ended Steve went over and sat next Billy. Billy had been lost in whatever he was reading and his head snapped up as if startled. Inside of the textbook was an open pamphlet, it said US ARMY “Be all that you can be.” at the top of it, there was another one underneath it with US Marines emblazoned at the header. 

“You’re not enlisting, are you?”

“Fuck off.” Billy mumbled getting up.

“What happened?” Steve moved closer, he picked up Billy’s bag and held it out to him, Billy swiped it away.

“Nothing.”

“You look like you’re in pain.” Steve said softly, lowering his voice when other students went past.

“You’re talking to me, of course I look like I’m in pain.” Billy snarled, his eyes were hard and cold.

“What did Neil do?” Steve persisted, he rested his hand on Billy’s lower back. Under his touch he felt Billy still, he turned to face Steve.

“Harrington, it doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

“Just, man, get back to earth.” Billy’s voice was soft and low, the gym had emptied of students. They were the last two, the empty space made Billy feel small, Steve’s gaze made him feel pinned, but it wasn’t terrible, it didn’t hurt, he just felt seen, exposed and vulnerable. 

“You can’t join the army, you’re too young.” Steve’s fingers gently stroked Billy’s side beneath his jacket. Billy felt himself leaning to the touch despite himself.

“For now.” Billy stated, looking Steve in the eyes.

“Can’t you, I don’t know, move out, stay with me, the house is big, my parents won’t even know you’re there.”

“That’s cute.” Billy rolled his eyes.

“I mean, I could ask them, I could tell them it’s temporary.”

“My dad works for the same company as yours, do you think they’re not going to talk?”

“They might, I don’t know.” They were standing so close together their temples nearly were touching. Billy was tired of pushing Steve away when all he wanted to do was pull him closer.

“Look, it’s simple. I’ve got nowhere to be, I’ll join the military for like four years or something, get the fuck out, go to college, and never have to live with dear old dad again.”

“Four years? No, man, don’t do that, you can’t.”

“What am I going to do? Stay in Hawkin’s and work at the hardware store making minimum wage and live out of my car?” Billy let out a low chuckle, but his eyes were dimmed of all humor.

“You don’t have to stay in Hawkins, we could go somewhere else, after you graduate.” Steve’s fingers brushed Billy’s. Billy looked at him incredulously. 

“You’re crazy. You once asked me if I got dropped on my head as a child, but you’re the one that’s out of touch with reality.” Billy turned and walked out of the gym. Steve followed him through to the locker room and touched Billy’s shoulder trying to slow him, but Billy only twisted out from under his touch and out the double doors to the main hallway.

“Grow up, Harrington.” Billy said without looking back.

  
  
  


_______________________________________________________________________

  
  
  


It was a quiet place to be on a Saturday afternoon in March, and Billy was greatful. He had his stereo on low the driver’s side window halfway down. He could see all the way across the partially frozen surface of Lake Jordan. He’d never been there before, but he’d been meaning to come check it out ever since Steve had mentioned it at that horrible dinner, the night they’d had phone sex. It seemed crazy now, childish even. He’d been so nervous making that call, the booze had given him liquid courage, and he’d never wanted to believe that he’d have feelings; he’d never imagined they’d end up doing the things they’d done over the past few months. It all seemed like memories to be filed away, all relegated to past, it had been exciting and maybe even a little romantic, but it couldn’t be anything more than a part of the past now.

Billy got out of his car his head swimming with thoughts, he grabbed an old wool blanket from the back seat and threw it on the hood and sat himself down. He had come here to make a promise to himself about moving forward, moving on and maybe even moving out of his father’s house. Not to moon over Harrington. Billy had a beat up notebook that he’d had rolled inside of hs jacket, he pulled it from his inner pocket along with a pen, he dug his smokes out of another pocket and lit up. If he ever got back to California he’d never complain about the heat again, looking around at the frozen vista, made his bones ache, everything was washed out, whites, greys, blacks, and the coldest shades of blue and nothing more. He shivered a bit, and was thankful for the little bit of engine heat that was still radiating from his car.

Last night Max had woken him up. Not intentionally, he’d heard her talking in her sleep. She’d been having nightmares since November, not all the time, and nothing she ever talked about, but sometimes he’d hear her. One time he’d ever heard her say “Billy, don’t!” It had startled him, he’d thought she was messing with his head, or trying to get him in trouble with his dad. He’d gone in her room intending to tell her to shut the hell up, but it was clearly a nightmare. It broke his heart, he didn’t want to face her if he was just a monster in her dreams so he’d walked out silently and gone back to his room, unable to go back to sleep, just laying there listening for her voice, waiting for her to cry out. He’d stayed up till dawn, and then just given up all together on sleep. That was the first day back to school after the winter break. Billy had wanted to change, he didn’t want her to view him as a waking nightmare, so he’d tried to talk to Steve, gotten in his car. That conversation had gone south pretty damned fast.  Last night was different though, he gotten up and walked into her room, the house was silent outside of Neil’s sporadic snoring. Max’s voice was soft and breathless, she was all but cocooned in her blankets, her brow knitted. He’d shaken her gently. She’d opened her eyes, not fully awake, she’d sat up and thrown her arms around him and clung to him. He didn’t say anything at first. He didn’t know what to say. Then he’d remembered what his mom would say when he’d had bad dreams.

“I’m right here.” He’d said softly, unsure that it meant anything to her, but when his mom had said it to him, it had meant everything. She’d held on so tightly, it made his bruises burn, but he’d held on to her until she relaxed, until her breathing deepened and just like that she was asleep again. He’d laid her back, and untangled her from her blankets to cover her again. Neither of them had said anything that morning. He wasn’t even sure she had any recollection of it. She’d been quite, but these days everyone in the Hargrove household was quiet, Neil was always brooding or drunk and glaring. Chief Hopper had a habit of dropping in at random at least three times a week. Susan moved around the house like a ghost and Billy just kept to his room. 

Taking in the lake and the trees again he was suddenly grateful to be there, maybe not in Indiana, but just glad to be there and not at the house. Neil and Susan were headed to Chicago today with poor Max in tow, Billy had been left behind and he couldn’t be happier about that. But still, he didn’t want to be in the house, even if it was empty. It wasn’t his  _ home _ , it was just a place he was staying, for now. 

Billy rifled through a few pages of his notebook. He’d transcribed a couple poems from the library book he’d checked out. He laid back on the hood, holding the notebook in front of his face, blocking the weak winter sun from his eyes. 

“Out of the night that covers me, Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever Gods made me, for my unconquerable soul.” He squinted at the verse, he like the last line

“My unconquerable soul.” Billy repeated. He heard footsteps approaching, it startled him and he sat up looking over his shoulder. 

“In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud.” Steve said as he walked over, his head down, but his eyes turned up towards Billy’s.

Billy looked around the lake, he’d not heard Steve drive up, hadn’t heard any cars.

“When did you get here?”

“I guess about an hour ago. I heard your car, saw you park. I wasn’t sure if I should walk over or not, so I waited a bit.” Steve scuffed his tennis shoe on the hard packed earth, the reeds and grass that normally flourished around the lake were brown and straw like under the half frozen mud.  “I know that poem. It’s actually the only one I know. My grandfather taught it to me when I was nine, he spent the whole summer reciting it at me. He said it would make me brave when I was afraid.” Steve stopped standing next to Billy.

“Did it work?” Billy asked with a sigh, he wanted Steve to say yes, that the magic words were right there in his hands, that he’d never be afraid again. Billy laughed softly, laughed at himself, at the absurdity of the question. He felt ridiculous.

“Sometimes, I guess. I like to think that you know, I could be ‘the master of my fate, the captain of my soul,’ I don’t always feel even close to that though.” Steve shrugged. “So have you decided? Are you going to be a Marine, a GI Joe, or a Flyboy?” Steve fixed Billy with a steady gaze.

“I don’t know yet, I’ve got to go to the recruiter’s office, I’ll decide then, I guess.” Billy hated it, hated the idea of leaving Max, leaving Steve. He felt his eyes sting, he took a drag off his cigarette.

“My grandpa said the Navy was awful. So I don’t recommend that, even though you’re a good swimmer.” 

“Max has nightmares.” Billy blurted, he slid off the hood of his car and leaned on it next to Steve. “She’s pretty damn tough you know, but like, someone should look out for her, and I don’t mean any of those AV Dweebs she hangs out with.” 

“Why don’t you look out for her?” 

“I mean after I’m gone. After I leave Hawkins.” 

“Seriously,” Steve moved closer, his eyes fixed on Billy’s, “Don’t do it man, don’t join the military, it’s not, I don’t think you’ll like it. You’re just not the type. They’ll cut your hair,” Steve paused, “they’ll make you button your shirts.” 

Billy laughed, caught off guard. 

“You’ think you’re a comedian, Harrington?”

“I just like making you laugh, so yeah, for you, I’m a comedian.” 

“What are you doing out here?” Billy glanced around and back at Steve, they were alone, and there was no time limit, no eyes prying, no one but the two of them.

“I like it here, sometimes I come out here and just, I don’t know, not be around people.”

“Hope I didn’t kill the moment.” Billy teased lightly.

“Not at all.” Steve smiled softly. “Stay in Hawkins, don’t enlist, or at least, stick around till we can come up with a plan, you can stay at my place, I swear, I’ll get my parents to agree to it. They won’t care.”

“Why do you care? What do you think’s going to happen if I stay here with you? In this town?” Billy could hear the emotion piling up in the back of his throat, the clenching muscles in his chest.

“I told you, I like you. Even though you’re a shithead to me some of the time, I know you’re not  _ really _ a shithead.” Steve moved in closer, he put his arms around Billy’s waist, their noses nearly touching.

“People can’t know, they can’t know about… this.”

“Well I’m not going to say anything. We’re not going to get caught.”

“We could get killed.”

“No we won’t.” Steve’s eyes widened, as if the idea was crazy.

“How do you know?”

“Because, I think you’ll protect me, and I’ll protect you.”

“It’s that simple, is it?”

“Yep.” Steve smiled, he leaned in his lips pressed into Billy’s slowly.

“I like you, Steve,” Billy felt Steve’s teeth graze his bottom lip, he forced himself to keep speaking, “I think, I’ve always liked you,” Steve smiled into a kiss and nuzzled Billy’s neck, “ and it… scared me.” Billy said haltingly. Steve’s hands went up his back and tangled in his hair. They embraced tightly kissing slowly, and deeply.

‘I like you too.” Steve pressed his temple to Billy’s. 

“Will you please stay? Just stay with me, Billy.” Steve kissed Billy’s jaw and the side of his neck tenderly.

“I will.” Billy swallowed and nodded slowly, letting the conviction of the words sink in to his soul. The pair of them stood still listening to the silence of the woods around the lake. Their breath intermingling. The pale sun high above them. Billy could swear he felt the world turning in that moment. Like they could float up into space and disappear far from earth and just drift among the stars, alone together, content. Safe. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of tidbits about many characters that never get explored, so yes I know I’m doing that and just chalk it up to my ‘style’, because I have no other excuses. Lastly, special thanks to Filppyspoon aka I.M. Flippy for many, many reasons.


End file.
